The Pre-Show Begins
The HP Pavilion has a very good layout for what is transpiring here tonight. The roads are blocked off surrounding the arena, to allow free roaming of people. And people there are, my dear readers. There are throngs of regular fans and snapping paparazzi alike, all hovering around the long red carpet that goes from the sidewalk to the doors into the arena. There are several places along the red carpet to allow for careful posing in front of specially placed logos on a board. The marquee on the arena doesn't read "NAFW Annihilation" tonight, but it instead is plugging the film debut we will see later tonight. A line of cars is headed down the street, mostly upper end models and limosuines. They roll up to the beginning of the red carpet, and with their bodyguards and hanger onners in tow, they head down the carpet, fake smiles shining a plenty. We cut to a spot along the carpet, where none other than Vanessa Chamberlain is standing with a microphone in her hand.
(Vanessa) Welcome to the red carpet for the feature film debut of The Defense starring Dane Cook, Mike Lane, and Michelle Monaghan! I'll be your host down here on the red carpet itself, and I'll be trying to get interviews with anyone I can catch as they head down this deal. We're expecting Hollywood's elite to be down in full force tonight, and the roving cameras will be here to catch all of the big moments, and relay them to you, the fans. We're expecting the two male stars of the film to arrive any moment now. They are flying straight from the Studio to here, with the film in hand. It'll be a big moment on this already momentous occasion folks.
We cut away to see some "stars" already arriving. Zangief, in his Speedo wrestling attire no less, walks down the carpet very confused and Vanessa looks very offended at his choice of attire for his entrance.
(Tom) That may be the greatest thing I've ever seen on this planet.
(JB) This isn't surprising.
We fade into the show intro as we follow Zangief’s journey down the carpet.
As the first few wailing guitar riffs of the Foo Fighters' "Erase/Replace" are played, the screen fades in from left to right displaying a graphic of the logo for the North Atlantic Foundation of Wrestling, better known as the NAFW.
The guitar quickly turns into shredding, and this is where the opening video kicks in. We see shots of all of the Foundation's regular wrestling superstars including Mike Stryker, Spaz, Keith Owens, Trevor Cunning, Mike Lane, "The Reaper" Leonard Aarons, Hush, Snake, Tyrone Smith, Andy D, Derek Clarke, Peter Gilmour, and Jaime Alejandro among others. Some are striking their signature poses while others are executing their signature moves in the ring, or if they are more hardcore inclined, taking swings with various weapons.
Intermixing with these short clips are classic moments from recent Annihilation history, including "The Reaper" being lit on fire, Trevor Cunning attacking people with bottles of Jack Daniels, Hush throwing bodies off the stage, and Mike Stryker making opponents tap out to the New York Cloverleaf.
As the last line is sung and the instruments go silent except for some light guitar feedback, the opening video comes to an end. When the heavy hitting music returns just few seconds later for the chorus of "Erase/Replace," indoor pyro and fireworks are set off as various cameras pan around the screaming crowd in attendance holding up their unique signs.
BOOM!!
BOOM!!!
As the chorus to the Foo Fighters song plays, the camera shot cuts to the ringside announce booth where JB Mann and Tom "The Bear" Kalhoun are standing by.
(JB) Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Annihilation, live from the the HP Pavilion in San Jose, California! As always, I'm JB Mann along side my broadcast partner, Tom "The Bear" Kalhoun!
(Tom) We've got one hell of a show for you tonight because... its the premiere of The Defense!
Excuse Me Miss...
We cut back to the red carpet where Vanessa is standing near the doorway, greeting guests as they enter. She's clad in a black sequin dress that's got a low v-cut leaving very little to the imagination. She's greeting various folks as they proceed into the HP Pavilion when fans begin cheering at the guy that starts up just as she turns towards the door. He stops with a bottle of Mountain Dew in his hand and of all things, a pillow under his left arm. His thin black shades covering his brown eyes as he stands with a smirk on his face.
(Tom) What the?! What's he doing here?!
(JB) He's attending the premiere it would appear.
Vanessa turns and finds herself face to face with her ex and needless to say, she's not smiling. He is however.
(The Reaper) Well now, look who's moving up in the world. Playing doorman to White Shoes and what's next? Getting his coffee and being another one of his mindless drones? Oops, too late on the mindless drone part, huh?
(Vanessa) Look, I'm not in the mood for this. If I'm not mistaken, you're not booked for this week, so why are you here?
It's here that L motions towards the pillow under his left arm.
(The Reaper) Well, I heard the premiere was tonight. Since I can't really sleep too well, I figured his movie would be just the thing to put me out for the count. I tried to search for some of his uh, classics at Blockbuster, but the garbage man had already come and gone for the day.
The fans are rolling in hysterics, Vanessa is less than amused.
(The Reaper) Nah, but seriously. I've got a great idea I wanted to run by you to pass along to your boy White Shoes.
(Vanessa) Oh really? Since when did you become a screenwrite?
(The Reaper) Right about the same time White Shoes decided to wake up one day and pretend to be a bad ass. I'm telling you, I was on my way here and it just popped in my head. Okay, the setting is sometime after Oblivion. He's the new Foundation Heavyweight Champion and he's on top of the world. Sound good so far, right?
She doesn't get a chance to answer, because L has already formulated his first.
(The Reaper) Of course it does. Anyway, he's riding on cloud nine and the world is his oyster when all of a sudden, everything starts to turn for him. The mood gets the changing and all of a sudden, he gets a terrible feeling in the pit of his stomach. Like the one you get after watching one of his movies on an empty stomach. Or full one.
If there was a laugh track, it'd be going right about now. But thankfully, the fans are listening and they're supplying it for us. Vanessa's less than amused by The Reaper's rather colorful candor at present time.
(The Reaper) Well, long story short, White Shoes ends up facing his toughest challenge to date in the form of a strapping young man from Jersey and guess what?
(Vanessa) He beats you to a bloody pulp and I laugh my happy ass off?
(The Reaper) Well, sorta. He tries and tries, but learns the same lesson that ole Trevor learned when it came down to the get down. That one on one with The Reaper... he too will FEEL. MY. WRATH!!!
(Vanessa) Yeah, that's great and all, but I've got more important people than you to greet. So if ya don't mind...
(The Reaper) Yeah, I guess you're right. Curtain's gonna drop pretty soon and I'm not trying to pass out on my feet. Wouldn't be too fun falling over on hard concrete like that. So I'm gonna leave you to herd in the masses who will either be put to sleep or driven to madness by your man's uhm, movie. Say, does a cyanide pill and noose come with this showing or not?
The Reaper walks off laughing, as Vanessa stands there scowling at him as she flips him the blurry one finger salute.
Jaime Alejandro vs. Tyrone Smith
We cut to the ring where both Jaime Alejandro and Tyrone Smith stand facing off with a referee in between them. Thanks to all the shenanigans over The Defense and the red carpet arrivals, the producers were forced to cut entrances out of the live broadcast. I’m sure both of these men will be thanking Mike Lane later.
(JB) Here we have what should be an interesting match between two of the more popular individuals here in the NAFW.
(Tom) Real five star classic in the making here.
(JB) I see we're not lost for sarcasm these days, huh?
(Tom) So Tyrone Smith got lucky in beating Spaz, he gets half a cookie for that. Jaime lost to the future Foundation Heavyweight Champion.
(JB) Because Vanessa hit him square in the face with a steel chair.
(Tom) Actually it's because Lane hit him with a textbook Old School Legdrop. Some putz from California ripped it off, but Lane showed the world the true originator of that fantastic move last time on Annihilation.
The match started out with a handshake by the two before they circled each other. Alejandro and Smith locked up center ring, with neither man getting an advantage initially. A few moments in Alejandro started to utilize his vertical base, pushing Smith back before shoving him towards the corner. Smith brushed it off and came back again, only to have the same thing happen. Smith stands in the corner for a bit, rethinking his strategy as Alejandro plays to the crowd. Smith would come back with a series of hard rights, which would be responded in kind by Alejandro as a pier sixer broke loose. The early going was controlled by Alejandro, who kept Smith off balance with a series of takedowns and suplexes, getting a couple of near falls in the process.
Alejandro tried for an early finish with the Crimson Revolver, but Smith managed to swing himself around and drop him with a reverse falling DDT. Smith stayed on the assault, dropping Alejandro with a series of dropkicks before hitting him with a flurry of kicks to the chest and head. Smith would cap this flurry off with a swinging neckbreaker which only got a two count. Smith took it to the air, dropping Alejandro with a missile dropkick and then following that up very quickly with a springboard moonsault which also drew a two count.
(JB) It appears as though the momentum has swung in Tyrone's favor after withstanding an early surge by Alejandro.
(Tom) I think we've got a family reunion on the horizon, look who's on their way out.
Sure enough, Carlos Smith comes out with Psycho in tow, only Psycho doesn't appear too thrilled to be out. This gets Tyrone's attention briefly, but he continues on the offensive. He takes Alejandro down with a Russian Leg Sweep and quickly pounces with a standing Shooting Star Press which gets a two count. On the outside, Carlos is screaming at Psycho to go after Tyrone, but he won't do it. This gets Tyrone's attention off of Jaime, as he starts towards his estranged brother who notices Tyrone coming his way. Carlos hops up on the apron and this gets the ref over as well, who tries to restore order as best he can. Psycho pulls Carlos off the apron to which Carlos is shocked, then furious piefacing Psycho in the mush as he scolds him. While Smith debates what he should do, he's oblivious to Alejandro who's up behind him and it should go without saying with his back to the action, it's fairly academic. Alejandro scoops Smith up fairly quickly from behind and plants him face first with the Crimson Revolution, rolling him over for the three as Carlos turns and smiles as Tyrone lies prone for the 3.
(JB) Looks like there is a lot unresolved here between these three brothers.
(Tom) And it looks like we should cut to the red carpet, which interests me far more than any of the men that were just out here.
The Biggest Stars Arrive – Just End The Show Here
We’re at the red carpet, and you know what that means – it’s time to see who is rollin’ up for Mike Lane’s big premiere of The Defense.
This time around, a Hummer limousine with bull horns attached to the front of the hood rolls up to the side of the street and to the red carpet. The camera is positioned at the front of the limo and all we can see is the driver in the front seat. After a moment, the driver doesn’t get out of the car. Rather, he presses a button on the ceiling of the car.
The sunroof begins to open and the camera centers its focus onto there where… Rex Michaels pops his head through!
(JB) It’s Rex Michaels, Bear, one half of the Rock 'n' Rex Express and he seems a bit confused to be here.
(Tom) Rex Michaels? Confused with a red carpet and fame? Surely not!
Rex ducks back down after surveying the area. Seconds later, his arms pop up through the sun roof, and Rex pulls himself onto the roof of the limo. The redneck has on a denim jacket with a giant patch of the Confederate Flag on the back of it, a clean white t-shirt, his denim jeans, his boots, and of course, a cowboy hat and an ice cold beer in his hand. The hat remains off his head however, so he can show off his mullet which has never been so high and so low at the same time. After standing on the roof and waving to the fans and photographers, he hops off the limo and onto the red carpet.
Rex looks around and seems confused again. He leans over to a photographer and asks “Did he leave without me?” The photographer seems confused as well, and shakes his head to indicate “No.”
(JB) One again, Rex looking confused.
(Tom) Maybe he misplaced his chewing tobacco?
(JB) He might be looking for his other half – Scott Rocker.
Sure enough, the all knowledgeable JB is right on the money. Rex walks around to the front of the car and peaks around the bullhorns. But Scotty Rocker is no where to be found. Next, Rex opens the door of the limo and peaks inside. He comes up empty handed though, meaning no Rocker inside either. Finally, Rex waves at the camera man to come closer, and he obliges moving from his position at the front of the limo.
The camera follows Rex around to the back of the limo where there’s a hot tub! And who is in the hot tub other than Scott Rocker and the (formerly) lovely GNR!
The crowd cheers wildly for Rocker as GNR straddles him and licks his face. Rex taps Rocker on the shoulder and motions for him that they’ve got to go inside. Reluctantly, the rock superstar agrees and GNR leaves his lap. Rex helps her down out of the hot tub, checking her out in her zebra stripped bikini the whole time, then places his hat on her head. Rex can be overheard saying “She needs to cover up!”
Our former ring announcer GNR grabs a beer for her and her man out of the open air cooler at the back of the limousine. Then everyone’s favorite misfit arises out of the water wearing nothing but a matching zebra stripped banana hammock and black leather ass-less chaps!
(JB) Dear Gord! Someone shield my eyes! Was he really wearing that in the hot tub?
(Tom) I think I’m going to be sick…
The crowd, for some reason, cheers this interesting display by Rocker. The God of Rock jumps down out of the limo hot tub, then puts on his black oversized sunglasses. The trio then departs down the red carpet to the photo-op area, and we cut back to the announce booth at ringside.
(JB) I’m practically speechless.
(Tom) The only sight worse than that was walking in on your in the shower JB.
(JB) When did you walk in on me in the shower?
(Tom) That time you let me crash at your apartment.
(JB) I’ve never let you crash at my place…
(Tom) . . .
(JB) Gross.
COMMERCIAL
An XTREME Arrival
We look outside the HP Pavilion in beautiful San Jose, California as many celebrities and people from the movie industry are gathering for the premiere of Mike Lane's film "The Defense." Many of the paparazzi are outside interviewing some of the celebrities and some of the NAFW Superstars who have arrived. Suddenly, we hear a screeching sound coming from around the corner. The people look to see who it is but then scatter like flies as a black Mercedes Benz 320 convertible speeds down the street like a bullet and almost hits into a few people who were getting near the red carpet. The car stops and as the paparazzi try to see who it is, a woman's leg pops out of the car, then back in. The windows are tinted black so we can't see anything in them. The car doors then open and we see Peter Gilmour and his lovely girlfriend Rose Smith emerge from the car. Flashbulbs start to pop as the lovely couple gets out and sees the mass of people in front of them. Both start to laugh hysterically.
(Peter) Can you believe all these people came out for a boring movie like "The Defense?"
(Rose) Yeah, really. I mean who would want to sit through 2 hours of boredom? I mean this movie has no plot, no real special effects and the acting is worse then Hellboy.
Peter shudders at the mention of the low budget making film called HELLBOY.
(Peter) Look at all these people wearing their tuxedos and expensive dresses. Me, I like to dress more.. CASUAL if you will.
Peter is seen in black slacks and a dress shirt as Rose is in a nice red dress with black shoes.
(Rose) I don't mind dressing up but I really hate going to functions.
(Peter) Me too baby. I mean it's worse going to Christmas dinner with my family without getting a tongue lashing from my parents. And besides, who is Mike Lane? Mike Lane isn't an actor. He is a LOSER!
Peter begins to yell loudly.
(Peter) YEAH I SAID IT! MIKE LANE IS A LOSER! Who does he think he is? He isn't some wannabe white rapper or a former wrestler turned actor. Those guys couldn't make a top making movie if it killed them.
(Rose) We can make a better movie ourselves.
Peter smacks his head in disgust at his woman's comment.
(Peter) Babe, keep that between us ok? I don't want to have a scandal on my hands when I'm going for the Atlantic Championship in three weeks at Oblivion. So keep that to yourself ok?
(Rose) Sorry my love.
Peter takes Rose's hand in his as they walk down the red carpet. Peter sees Mike Lane from the corner of his eye and begins to laugh. The paparazzi tries in vain to get a interview with Peter and Rose, but they both flip them off before heading into the arena as we fade to black.
Pep Talk?
We open inside of Keith Owens' locker room, the man sitting on a couch right now is distraught following the verbal and psychological beating he took last week at the hands of Trevor Cunning. The door opens and a set of boots are heard walking in as Keith looks up, his eyes locking on to someone he honestly didn't expect to see.
(Keith) If you're here to pile on, save it. I've got enough on my mind.
(???) On the contrary Keith...
The fans pop when they hear the voice that Keith's addressing as the camera pans around to show a fellow member of the Foundation Heavyweight Championship fraternity that Keith Owens is a part of. Go to the part of the book where it lists longest running champions of all time, their names will be there. In any event, The Reaper stands in front of Keith with his new Illtown t-shirt and a pair of jean shorts. A pair of thin black shades hang from the front of his shirt as he sits down with a bottle of Mountain Dew in his right hand.
(The Reaper) I'd say you need a voice other than your own to talk to ya for a minute.
(Keith) So what? You here to tell me I'm getting what I deserve? That for all the lives I've ruined in my day, I deserve everything I'm getting?
(The Reaper) Not exactly. Ya see, it wasn't too long ago that I had the same issue you're having now. Someone wants you to go back to what you were, only you don't want to take it there.
For those of you uninitiated, Aarons is referring to Heatwave and his desire to get Illtown back in the game so to speak. Illtown returned at Breaking Point and well, the rest as they say along with Heatwave to boot, was history.
(The Reaper) You're fighting to keep yourself on an even keel, to show folks that nobody has that much control over you. Well, I'm here to tell you something. People like us are great for a reason. It's because we recognize what needs to be done and we make it happen.
This gets Keith's attention, to a point. L takes a brief swig from his drink and continues.
(The Reaper) Ya see Keith, you can't go back in time and change what you've done. The quicker you come to realize that, the better off you'll be. The true measure of a man comes when you remove everything he has to stand on and you see how he walks on his own.
(Keith) So what are you suggesting I do then? And why the hell should I listen to you in the first place?
Aarons smiles rather coyly.
(The Reaper) Look, I get that you and I aren't exactly bosom buddies, but you have to do what you know how to do. Make a Difference. The only way people like him learn, is when you give them what they want and make em' see, it's really not what they want after all. Look at Heatwave. I tried warning him to leave well enough alone and now look at him. Well, you can't now because he's in a hospital bed with his wife wondering what the hell hit him.
Short pause as Aarons takes a swig. Owens stares at him not saying a word.
(The Reaper) Anyway, you've got a lot to think about so I'm gonna skidaddle.
Keith gets up and Reaper extends his hand towards him. Keith stares at him coldly for a moment, clearly contemplating not returning the gesture. After a few tension filled moments, Keith returns the gesture, but surprisingly walks past Aarons after he does so.
(The Reaper) Like I said, we're two of a kind you and I. Just wanted to see you do what needs to be done is all.
But The Reaper’s words went unheard, because when Reaper turns around, he finds that Keith has left his own locker room.
Cut.
Slush vs. Dustin Thomas (TT)
SUMMARY: Slush is accompanied by the other half of “The Goods, ”Ammo, who happens to be one half of the Tag Team Champions with Slush’s opponent for tonight, Dustin Thomas. Dustin is accompanied by his brother, the other half of “Old School Empire,” Shane Thomas. Ammo doesn't help Slush during the match, letting him figure things out on his own. Dustin ends up winning. After the match, Ammo congratulates Dustin and Dustin accepts the praise, confusing and annoying Slush and Shane.
Memoirs of a Psycho
The scene opens up on Carlos sitting in the locker room next to the newly revealed "Psycho" Tommy Smith. Tommy just stares at the floor as Carlos begins to speak.
(Carlos) This is it. We finally had Tyrone right where we want him. Are you not ready to do this?
Carlos looks over at Tommy and when no answer comes, he smacks him hard in the back of the head.
(Carlos) Are you listening to me!?
Tommy sighs and looks Carlos in the eye.
(Tommy) We had him right where YOU want him...I don't want to hurt Tyrone.
Carlos' face twists into an evil smirk as he stands up to pace the floor.
(Carlos) You WILL do this. Have you forgotten how he ignored you? How he hated you all your life? How he had it so good and you were locked up in that little room of yours just wanting one friend?
Carlos stops and looks at Tommy again.
(Carlos) And have you forgotten who that friend is? How I came and saved you from that pathetic existence? How I have taken care of you and brought you here to the NAFW to realize your dream of being a wrestler?
Tommy looks down again, a hurt look coming over his face from the memories of being trapped in that house with no one but himself for company.
(Carlos) So, who should you care about? Tyrone? For what? He did nothing and I have done everything. He ignored and hated you and I loved you.
Carlos kneels down in front of Tommy and looks at him.
(Carlos) Tyrone is nothing to you but a painful memory. Tyrone is nothing but a little wretch who deserves to be broken in half at our hands. And our parents never loved you either remember?
Tommy stands up quickly, staring at Carlos with bloodthirsty eyes.
(Tommy) Tyrone is nothing to me but my older brother! And they are my parents, even if they couldn't afford to take care of me themselves! Let me tell you what I finally remember.
Tommy now paces the floor, fists clenched tight obviously wanting to be fighting Carlos at the moment.
(Tommy) I remember ya'll visiting once or twice a year. I remember our parents looking at me with love in their eyes, sorry they couldn't have kept me. I remember never being happier because I had someone to play with finally.
Tommy punches the locker room wall and blood slowly trickles out of his knuckles.
(Tommy) I remember you ignoring me. I remember you seeming to hate me. I remember playing games with Tyrone and BOTH of us being sorry ya'll had to leave at the end of the weekend. I remember you "playing" with me too. The same way you "train" me now.
Tommy sits back down and puts his face in his hands.
(Tommy) You twisted my memories of those times...You keep me from speaking to anyone just like my foster parents, our grandparents, did. So, I won't fight Tyrone. Put me in that ring if you want, but I'll just lay down and wait for the three count to ruin your plans.
Carlos' face contorts in anger and he begins to beat on Tommy worse than we've ever seen before.
(Carlos) You WILL do as I say! You will help me end Tyrone and you know what? You can then do whatever you want! Until then, you are nothing but my little puppy and you will obey just like a dog should. You finally speak after nearly a year of virtual silence and this is how you speak to me! This is how you speak to your own personal savior?
Carlos finally lets up and Tommy shoves him back.
(Tommy) You can do that all you want. You taught me to enjoy the pain so you are getting nowhere like that!
Carlos and Tommy charge at each other, but the camera is knocked over in the process causing the screen to go black. All we here are the sounds of punches as the titantron finally kills the feed completely.
Loyalties
Backstage in the locker room of The Goods, Slush questions where Ammo's loyalties lie, and whether or not they plan on holding the tag team gold together or not.
COMMERCIAL
2(Un)important
(Tom) Can we please skip the rest of the show and get to Lane’s premier?
(JB) Now why would we do something like that?
(Tom) Because we have A-list superstars in the building and they didn’t come to see Andy Dumbass get his ass kicked by a brainless airbag, and Wilson, for the 100th time… or any of these other losers.
(JB) We’ve had a lot of people showing up on the red carpet tonight that’s for sure.
(Tom) Exactly, and they’re all here to see Mike Lane, Future Foundation Heavyweight Champion, and his new movie.
(JB) We’ve been seeing stars arriving all night, but let’s take you back to earlier this afternoon and show you an incident on the red carpet.
We cut back to the red carpet area outside the arena with a big caption underneath saying ‘Earlier Today’. The area is a bit devoid of people as we’ve seen it, with some paparazzi still setting up their camera tripods. The daylight is also very bright, indicating that it is indeed earlier in the day, probably before most stars started to show up. Standing at the end of the red carpet (the end that people start walking down anyway) are two guys. There’s nothing special about these guys (there never was and there never will be), the two are dressed in smart suits (as would be expected of people walking down the carpet). They stand with the shorter blond one on the left and the taller blue haired one on the right. Regular viewers will have noticed that they are Menace and Jackle (left to right respectively), the former NAFW tag team known as the 2Guys… anybody who doesn’t know who they are can count themselves as one of the lucky few.
(Menace) Shall we?
(Jackle) Indeed
The 2Guys start strutting (yes, actually strutting) down the red carpet, celebrity style waiving at all the people who haven’t really turned up yet, not really at the few who have. They stop to pose for the uninterested photographers who either have no clue who they are or don’t care, after a moment or two the 2Guys carry on to the main door, where of course a big security guard is stopping any unauthorised people from entering the building.
(Security Guard) Who the hell are you?
(Menace) Jackle and Menace
(Jackle) A dot K dot A… the 2Guys
(Security Guard) Never heard of you
(Menace) Lucky you
(Jackle) Anyway, we’re with the company, here for the film and stuff so if you’ll stand aside
Of course the guard doesn’t move or let them in, he just stands there, staring intensely at them.
(Jackle) Come on, we’re expected to be here for this.
(Security Guard) Look, I don’t know who you guys are. You say you’re allowed to be here, but have you got proof?
(Menace) Proof?
(Security Guard) Yeah, like a ticket, a pass, some kind of ID
Jackle and Menace take one look at each other before looking back at the guard. Menace swipes his hand across the air slightly as he talks
(Menace) You don’t need to see our identification.
This of course fails a response with the guard, so Menace tries it again, this time swiping his hand more noticeably
(Menace) You don’t need to see our identification
Again, no response from the guard
(Jackle) Dude, I don’t think the Jedi Mind Trick is working
This of course doesn’t deter Menace, who tries harder at the JTM. Harder in this case being the waving of his hand repeatedly in front of the Guards face while emphasising a lot of his words.
(Menace) You…. don’t need…. to See…. Our… Identification!
Again, no response from the guard… not an eye raise or an annoyed grunt or anything… just the same intense staring that would kill a man if looks had that kind of harming ability (and if it was to get rid of the 2Guys, I’d really wish that looks could kill.
(Menace) Fine, you win. We’ll leave quietly.
And so, dejected, Jackle and Menace turn around and start to walk back down the red carpet. But the 2Guys wouldn’t be where they are today if they gave up after being beaten so easily, which is why after 3 steps they perform a 180 and charge at the door.
(Menace) Let… Us…. In
(Jackle) Move!
The guard, who is good at his job anyway, is built like a brick wall and the 2Guys get easily stopped by the two massive arms that the guard possesses. After a few moments of struggling from the 2Guys, the Guard throws them half way down the red carpet… which is quite a feat in itself. I mean with that kind of strength the guy should be like a Professional Weightlifter or maybe in the World’s Strongest Man competition. Hell, he could be a Professional Wrestler himself with that kind of strength, he could easily stop out of control wrestlers. Or even better, he could be a Security Guard at a Professional Wrestling Event….
(Menace) You’ll be hearing from our lawyer about this
(Security Guard) Do you even have a lawyer?
(Menace)…………… No
(Jackle) But if we did, you’d be hearing from him!
And with that, the 2Guys finish picking themselves off the red carpet and walk away from the arena, and our scene from earlier in the day goes back to the present and to ringside.
(Tom) Like I said, this is all a colossal waste of time. On with the movie damn it!
(JB) Well you’re going to have to wait while we take care of some other actual NAFW business.
Slaying the Giant
We cut to the locker room where we see Peter Gilmour getting ready for his big match with Xavier Caine, a man who, just like Snake and himself, wants the Atlantic Championship title which currently is held by Andy D. Peter is in his ring gear which consists of black shorts and boots. His traditional black cloak is hanging in his locker. Peter takes a moment to look into a small mirror that is inside. He then takes a deep breath as his lovely girlfriend Rose Smith comes into the shot wearing a very sexy black dress and shoes.
(Rose) Are you ready for your match my love?
(Peter) Yes I am. I look forward to facing the giant beast names Xavier Caine. You see last week on Annihilation, I faced that slimey bastard Snake one on one. He has beaten me on 2 other occassions, but last week I finally got my revenge and pinned him in the middle of the ring. Then during the night, he has the balls to come and ask me for help in taking out Andy D and Caine. I reluctantly agreed but I had a plan of my own. So we went down to the ring and beat the ever loving shit out of Caine and Andy. But Snake comitted the ultimate sin by turning his back on me. So what did I do? I blasted him with a steel chair between his eyes and laid him out.
Peter begins to laugh wickedly as Rose smiles.
(Peter) People are now asking me, "Why Peter? Why did you hit Snake?" Fact of the matter is, I HATE all three of them. I hate Snake, I hate Andy D and I hate the man that I face tonight, Xavier Caine. Xavier may be all big and strong, but I've fought guys like him in the past and beat them to a bloody pulp. I guess you can say I'm a "GIANT KILLER." So tonight, me and Xavier go head to head for the very first time. It's not going to be pretty I will say that. But tonight, I will shock the NAFW when I beat Xavier Caine 1..2..3.. And if those bastards Snake and Andy D decide to get involved, well let's just say they will have HELL to pay! Tonight, I move one step closer to getting the Atlantic Championship and I will go through Snake and Xavier Caine to do it. I've worked too hard and too long to let this opportunity slip away. At Oblivion, someone is walking out the Atlantic Champion. And to be honest, that man is ME! Tonight, these moronic fans will get a little taste of what I'm going to do at Oblivion. Xavier Caine is going to be taken...
(Rose) TO THE XTREEEEEEEME!!
(Peter) Couldn't of said it better myself babe. Now let's go.
Peter and Rose share a passionate kiss then Peter gets clobbered by someone… XAVIER CAINE!
The big man rips Gilmour away from his girlfriend and begins to shove him down the hallway. The two battle back and forth, all the while making their way closer to the entrance ramp. The camera follows cautiously behind while Rose runs after her man.
Peter Gilmour vs. Xavier Caine
(JB) Well, we've got Caine and Gilmour already going at each other after the theatrics that went down after the Caine and Andy match last week. Caine got his brains scrambled by Gilmour and Snake, so now we've got these two going at each other to settle things once and for all.
(Tom) Really? Do things ever really get settled when you say it like that?
(JB) I was just...
(Tom) Yeah, so was your...
(JB) Momma? Ha!
As noted, Caine and Gilmour got stuff started in the back going at each other with the fight coming all the way down to the ring. Along the way, Gilmour and Caine took turns just bouncing each other off of anything that was and wasn't nailed down. The fight stayed outside for a bit until Caine slid Gilmour into the ring, finally allowing the referee to start things in an official capacity. Rose managed to provide a momentary distraction for her man as Caine got into the ring however, just enough for Gilmour to hit a sliding dropkick which took Caine's ankle out causing him to hit the apron face first.
The next few minutes were spent by Gilmour targeting the right ankle of Caine. Stiff kicks and sweeps were used to take the big man off his vertical base. Caine managed to fight off Gilmour somewhat and get the fight into the ring for the first time all night, but Gilmour was very persistent eventually getting the upper hand again after a chop block hit hard on his right knee. Peter took to the sky, hitting Caine with a missile dropkick to temporarily stun Caine. Peter would come off the ropes dropping Xavier with a wicked spinning heel kick to get a two count. Peter kept up the relentless assault with stomps and what have you, dictating the pace for the most part with a flurry of quick strikes and the occasional suplex. The turning point came when Gilmour attempted to hit Caine with a back body drop but telegraphed it, allowing Xavier to drop Gilmour with a DDT. Caine took control after that, dominating the next few minutes with a series of vicious shots and slams, utilizing that massive frame of his to the fullest. A double clothesline ended up taking both men down, as the ref started his ten count and that's when stuff picked up.
(JB) Both men are down, but wait a second...we've got company!
(Tom) Snake! Snake's coming down and the only question is, who is he coming for?
(JB) Last week, Gilmour dropped him with a steel chair after the two of them teamed up to take down Caine and Andy D. Now we've got Gilmour's girlfriend up on the apron, stopping the ref's count.
(Tom) Snake's sprinting now and Gilmour's getting to his feet...
As the ref argues with Rose, Gilmour gets to his feet with his back to the entranceway. Snake slides in almost undetected and almost fluidly, grabs a hold of Gilmour from behind and with one twist turns his lights out with the Venom Sting. He crouches low above Gilmour and smirks before sliding out of the ring as Caine starts to stir.
(JB) Gilmour's out of it with the Venom Sting and the referee didn't see a thing!
(Tom) Gilmour's girl may have just cost him the match. All Caine has to do is get a hand on him and it's over.
(JB) Caine's got him covered, this one's academic.
1!!!!!
2!!!!!
....
(JB) Wait! He lifted his shoulder off the mat! Gilmour was out cold and Caine just had Gilmour kick out.
(Tom) Payback time for Caine. The big man's lifting Gilmour up, who's practically dead weight at this point. He's got him stuffed, time for the Great Silencing.
(JB) This looks to be an emphatic message going out to the Atlantic Champion Andy D, who will face his longtime rival Snake later on tonight. He's still lurking about out here oblivious to Caine.
(Tom) I don't think that matters because...
...
...
...
Caine just dropped Gilmour on his head with The Great Silencing. Three seconds later, with Caine's hand pressed on Gilmour's chest, it's over.
(JB) Well, thanks to Snake, Caine has exacted a measure of revenge against Gilmour and got himself a win.
(Tom) Wait a second, look over here. I don't think Snake's done yet. He has a chair in his hand and he's sneaking in behind Caine who...caught him in the act.
(JB) Wow. That look on Caine is absolutely fierce and Snake's got a deer in headlight look in his face. Snake's dropping that chair and he's out of there as Caine stares him down.
(Tom) Later on tonight, I think it'd behoove Snake to have eyes in the back of his head. I don't think Xavier's gonna let this slide, helping hand in this win or not.
You Want Answers?
We cut to the back where The Reaper has set up shop in a locker room, although it's anyone's true guess as to why he's here. He hasn't seen any in-ring action since he beat Psycho on the post Breaking Point edition of Annihilation, so he's using his free time to uh...sleep? No, not really. But when we last saw our not so friendly neighborhood Reaper, he had a pillow and a bottle of Dew. Now, there's a pillow on the couch along with a small blanket and on the table, a small thing of Nyquil. Yes, as in the nighttime, coughing, aching, stuffy yada yada, that puts you out in the blink of an eye.
(The Reaper) Okay...one last check. Pillow, check. Blanket, check. White Shoes Movie Watching Tonic, better known to the populace as Nyquil...triple check. Okay, bring on the movie!
There's a knock on the door which opens just a smidge, as Rick Priestly sticks his head in.
(Rick) Sorry to disturb you, but I was hoping to get a few quick words from ya on this evening's proceedings?
The Reaper, never one to pass up an opportunity to speak to the people, waves him in. Rick comes in, microphone in hand as Aarons stares at his present setup with Rick to his right. With all of our players in place, let the segment commence!
(Rick) Tonight, you're not booked but yet you're here for what reason?
(The Reaper) Excellent question Ricky. Yours truly is here to, yet again, scout his future opponent at Oblivion and take in some fine theater.
(Rick) So you're here to watch Alejandro, I take it.
The Reaper nods.
(Rick) But what 'fine theater' are you speaking of?
(The Reaper) None other than a sneak preview of Lane's newest blockbuster...sorry, I mean straight to Blockbuster's bargain bin premiere...of The Offense.
(Rick) Uhm, that's The Defense.
(The Reaper) No, it's The Offense. As in it's clearly offensive for people to actually be expected to pay good honest money to want to see this thing. Now if you want good money to go to something worth watching, drop $39.95 off to your local cable or satellite provider to order Oblivion!
Cheesy shill grin
(Rick) Well, speaking of Oblivion you're going to be taking on your good friend Jaime Alejandro. Can we get your thoughts on the match as a whole? Or even still, why last week, you let your ex come down and cost him his match against Mike Lane?
The grin goes away and in its place, is more of an annoyed look.
(The Reaper) Rick, last week, what did I say I was going out to do? I said I was going to scout my opponent and I did that. I have no control over Vanessa and her actions, it's neither here nor there to me. And if those molasses greased wheels in your head are thinking of asking the sixty four million dollar question that I haven't answered the more it's asked, stop. It's not getting answered today, tomorrow or next week no matter who asks.
(???) Not even if one of your best buds ask?
The fans react from the voice that chimes in from the doorway, that belonging to the NAFW's one and only Saint. He has a towel wrapped around his neck, as he has finished his evening after wrestling Tyrone Smith earlier in the night. He makes the universal signal for Rick to amscray with his left hand as he enters, while Rick exits. The two friends shake hands and touch shoulders in a manly hug as Aarons goes to sit down while Alejandro remains standing.
(The Reaper) Good match earlier, holmes. Looking like I'm gonna have my work cut out in front of me at Oblivion.
(Jaime) I wouldn't have it any other way, friend. However, I've gotta know, just what was your deal last week? I mean, you come down there and that $5 slut's following after you. Okay, I get she was talking your ear off and you didn't want to hear it. But when she made it a point to introduce a chair to my skull, where was my friend to stop it?
And just like that, the happy mood or somewhat colorful repoire that Aarons had is now gone. He's now back to being somewhat stoic, very businesslike as he simply sighs looking up at his friend.
(The Reaper) Look, the last thing I wanted to do was give White Shoes a reason to cry and moan that someone was trying to screw him or with his match. Besides that, the way I figure in situations like that, it's always the second person who gets caught. I said I was there to watch your match and scout you and that's what I did. Plain and simple. I'm sorry you got hit, but it was what it was. Mainly none of my business.
(Jaime) Look, with all due respect, that's not good enough for me. Now, I'm more than aware of the past with you two, but I need to know right here and now if there's more to this than meets the eye. We go back quite a way and I know the history that's there moreso than they do. Before we get to Oblivion, you need to let me know if what happened back in Portland is going to be a sign of things to come.
Even though it's not the exact question that Aarons has been incessantly asked, it's a variation thereof. It's here that Aarons gets to his feet, with a very stoned look on his face.
(The Reaper) Look man, I told you what the deal was and that's it. The fact is, things are what they are between Vanessa and I. Nothing more than that, nothing less.
Just as Jaime starts to ask that question, The Reaper cuts him off at the pass.
(The Reaper) Now that's not something I'm gonna answer whether it's asked by the help or you. Now if that's not good enough for ya, I'll tell ya what you can do about it. You can meet me at Oblivion and you can TRY beating one out of me.
And then there was silence, accompanied by a rather tense staredown between the two.
(Jaime) So that's the way it has to be? Fine. Come Oblivion, I'm gonna get that answer, so best be prepared to MAN THE *BLEEP* UP.
(The Reaper) You had best be prepared, to FEEL MY WRATH!!!! Friend.
The two are nose to nose as Aarons and Alejandro exchange rather angry glares, before Alejandro backs his way out the door. Aarons sneers just a little before plopping back down on the couch.
COMMERCIAL
Hall o’ Fame Fun
As we come back from the commercial break, we open the scene at the ringside announce table.
(JB) Welcome back to Annihilation folks. I’m getting word from the backstage area that we are going to find out who our next Hall of Fame inductee will be right now!
(Tom) JB, I hate to burst your bubble, but the next Hall of Fame inductee will be… ME!
(JB) WHAT?
(Tom) I spoke to Ray Buchanan last night, and he said Hector Gonzales agreed. I am the one commentator who has changed the way we call wrestling matches forever!
(JB) How so? Not making any commentary even slightly related to the product on the screen?
(Tom) Be jealous Mannwagon!
(JB) You’ve got to be kidding me.
(Tom) Not at all JB. From now on, I am no longer going to be referred to as Tom “Bear” Kalhoun. Rather, you may refer to me as “The One And Only Hall of Fame Announcer” Thomas B. Kalhoun!
(JB) I’ve had enough, I can’t deal with this…
JB throws his headset down and rises from his seat. He takes a few steps away from the announce table while Tom grins from ear to ear. Before JB Mann can make it much further, a voice tells him to stop.
(???) Hold it right there!
JB is confused as he draws his attention to the top of the ramp. It’s Twitch, with his towel Blake Bouchard!
(Twitch) It seems that Grizzly there has played a trick on your not-so-smart brain. You see, he’s not the next Hall of Fame inductee to be announced.
(Tom) Gotcha!
JB turns to his broadcast partner who is laughing his ass off at the announce table. JB walks back over to him and slaps him upside the head, sending his headset flying off! JB takes his seat back at the table and both men readjust their headsets to continue commentating.
(JB) So not funny.
(Tom) Don’t get your panties in a bundle. I hate when your mother does it. It makes it so hard to take them off.
At this point, Twitch has made his way down the ramp and entered the ring.
(Twitch) Besides boys, if one announcer was going to make it into the Hall of Fame, surely it would be Twitch! You two belong in the Hall of Lame!
That aside - last night I received a call from Speedy Gonzales asking me if I’d do him a favor and make the following announcement…
Speedy Gonzales, if you can’t figure it out, is Twitch’s pet name for Hector Gonzales, the owner of the NAFW.
(Twitch) …And when he told Twitch what he wanted Twitch to announce, there was no way Twitch could say no. Twitch has a good friend who has been down about his luck lately. Then Twitch thought, surely this news would put Twitch’s friend back in good spirits, and get him back on the right track.
Twitch pauses for a moment, before blurting out the next line.
(Twitch) The next inductee into the NAFW Hall of Fame is none other than… Pez!
And of course, when Twitch says Pez, we know he really means Spaz.
The house lights drop out, to be replaced by red lights, pulsing in time with a high hat playing a steady beat behind the rapid opening bass riff of "There and Back Again" by Daughtry. A single spotlight focuses on the top of the ramp, and after a moment, a figure appears in that spotlight.
Spaz steps forward, wearing his usual attire: simple black pants, dark red elbow pads and wristbands, and the trademark Ruby Oakleys. He also sports his new "SpaZ" Throwback t-shirt.
The music skips the opening verse and heads straight into the pre-chorus. Spaz seems rather surprised at this announcement as the crowd cheers wildly for the NAFW Original. Spaz walks down the ramp, taking congratulatory high-fives from the fans, before entering the ring.
Everyone is on their feet in the arena giving Spaz a standing ovation!
He seems overcome with emotion as he is quick to hug Twitch right there in the middle of the ring!
(JB) Can you believe it Bear? Sean “Spaz” Thomas is going into the Hall of Fame! And he’s still an active wrestler!
(Tom) Pfft… It still should be me.
With the setting returned to normal, Spaz takes the microphone from Twitch and addresses the crowd.
(Spaz) Thank you Twitch. I almost don’t know what to say. This is quite an honor!
The crowd has started up a rapid “Spaz” chant in the background that the superstar takes a moment to recognize.
(Spaz) You know, I’ve been an Ultimate Showdown winner, I’ve held the European, Intercontinental, X-Treme, and Foundation Heavyweight Championships. Heck, I’ve even been the owner of this great company before I was kidnapped!
The crowd pops once again, and Spaz gives them their moment to cheer before continuing.
(Spaz) But I have to say, this is the greatest honor of my career. Being nominated to the Hall of Fame validates all of those accomplishments. And I can’t even say enough about what it means to be recognized in this way before I’ve even hung up my boots. I’m so extremely thankful for being recognized by this company, and by you, the fans, for all of the blood, sweat, and tears I’ve put into building this place to be the institution that it is.
The crowd starts a chant saying “Thank you Spaz” *clap*clap*clapclapclap*
(Spaz) I’d really like to just sit out here all night and talk about all the good times and all of the memories, but I’ve got a match with Derek Clarke coming up. I know I’ve been a bit distraught after losing to Mike Lane, Trevor Cunning, and Tyrone Smith, but I’m feeling real good about tonight now. Tonight, I’m going to make you all proud of your newest NAFW Hall of Famer!
The crowd cheers, but Twitch interrupts and snatches the mic out of Spaz’s hand.
(Twitch) Pez, that’s not all. Twitch has one more surprise for you. The anniversary of the NAFW is celebrated during the summer with an episode of Annihilation X-Treme. While that hasn’t formally happened yet, Twitch talked to Speedy Gonzales and got your match changed to a Finisher First Match to celebrate the occasion!
The crowd pops for this as well. Spaz is a bit taken back, but still seems to be in good spirits. He takes the mic back from Twitch.
(Spaz) Then I guess only one question remains… Are you ready for a Sugar Rush?!
That catch phrase also happens to be the name of Spaz’s finisher. The crowd cheers some more as we fade to a commercial break.
COMMERCIAL
Derek Clarke vs. Spaz
Finisher First Match
As we come back from commercial, Derek Clarke’s music is playing and he’s already in the ring opposite Spaz.
(JB) Just moments ago, Spaz was announced as the next inductee into the NAFW Hall of Fame.
(Tom) And Derek Clarke is ready to kick another Hall of Famer’s ass tonight.
(JB) I don’t know about that. The Judge has given Clarke a couple of beatings the past couple of weeks, but Clarke is definitely going to be looking to send the Judge a message here tonight by taking out one of his fellow Hall of Fame classmates. But let us not forget that Spaz is looking to rebound from his string of losses and seems really motivated after the Hall of Fame announcement.
(Tom) Whatever. My money is still on Derek.
(JB) Since this is a finisher first match, it can literally end at any moment once either man performs their finishing maneuver on the other. For those of you who don’t know, Spaz’s finisher is a flatliner known as the Sugar Rush, while Derek Clarke employs a simple but effective Northern Lights Suplex to take his opponents down.
The bell rings for the match and Clarke immediately rushes in to attack Spaz. He throws a right and then a left before forcing his knee up into Spaz’s gut. Clarke wastes no time in positioning Spaz for the finishing suplex, but the veteran and future Hall of Famer punches out of the hold. The two men relock up and Spaz catches Derek off guard with a sitdown jawbreaker. Spaz is quick to grab Derek by the legs and flip him over on the mat, then applies a single leg Boston crab submission hold.
(JB) It looks like Spaz is going to try and weak those legs so he can get Derek to fall for the Sugar Rush easily.
There’s no submissions in this match, and this early on, Derek is no where near worked over enough to submit if he even could. After a few moments of the hold being locked in, Spaz relinquishes it, but then turns around and stomps the leg of Clarke that he was just working on. The referee pushes him off and tells him to cool his jets and to give Clarke a chance to get back onto his feet. Spaz apologizes to the ref and follows his orders in a manner of good sportsmanship. Derek, however, isn’t so sportsmanlike today, and he takes the opportunity to slingshot himself off the nearest ropes and dive at Spaz with a flying forearm. Both men are quick to their feet, but Clarke clotheslines Spaz down a number of times, gaining an advantage. Derek locks him up for the Northern Light Suplex and begins to pull the move off! However, Derek neglected to notice his position in the ring! He’s right next to the ropes and as he throws Spaz backwards, Spaz bounces off the top rope! Spaz uses the momentum to come back over Derek, land on his feet, then send Derek flying over him with a modified suplex of his own!
(JB) Spaz almost lost this match right there, but luckily he was able to take advantage of the ropes and reverse Clarke’s finisher!
In a normal match, Spaz would likely go for a pin fall here. But instead, he stalks Derek and motions for him to rise to his feet. Clarke is a bit dazed, and when he does work his way back up to his feet, he’s met with a Sweets Kick, aka a spinning heel kick! This happens two more times until Derek looks completely out of it!
(Tom) Three Sweets Kicks? Unpossible!
(JB) Spaz is firing on all cylinders tonight, thats for sure!
Spaz quickly picks up Derek and positions him to pull off not the Sugar Rush, but the Spaz Out, a jump swinging reverse DDT! The crowd is absolutely on their feet right now cheering for Spaz, and Spaz is feeding off their energy. He signals to the crowd for the Sugar Rush and they can’t wait to see it! Spaz drags Derek up to his feet and positions him for the Sugar Rush. Suprisingly though, Derek Clarke elbows out of the hold, drilling his elbow into Spaz’s head very stiffly a couple of times. Spaz is stunned, and given their proximity to the ropes, Derek shoves Spaz into them. On the quick return, Clarke applies the hold for the Northern Lights Suplex and quickly delivers it before Spaz can even react! The referee calls for the bell, and this match is over!
(JB) I can’t believe it! It looked for sure like Spaz had that match in the bag, and then Derek pulled off that Northern Lights Suplex from absolutely no where!
(Tom) Told ya so!
Clarke rolls out of the ring and begins to badmouth The Judge to the cameras and the fans, essentially, anyone that’ll listen to him. He can be heard saying something along the lines of “One Hall of Famer down, one to go!”
Meanwhile, in the ring, Twitch slides in to console his friend Spaz. However, Spaz doesn’t want any of it as he appears to be distressed and embarrassed that he just lost yet another match. He rolls out of the ring and makes his way to the back, leaving Twitch several paces behind.
The Star is Here
Cut to Vanessa Chamberlain, who is at her post. She looks very excited.
(Vanessa) We've just recieved word that the chopper carrying Mike Lane, Dane Cook, and Versus executive Phil Raines is almost here. We can expe...
The crowd of people pops huge, and the cameraman leaves Vanessa out to dry as he runs away, towards the start of the red carpet, holding his camera skyward the whole time. Security is holding back the throng of people for quite a distance, and we see why as the camera catches the growing chopper in it's sights. While there's probably a heli-pad on the roof of the building, Mike Lane wants to make a hell of an entrance. The 'copter kicks up a lot of dust and trash as it comes to a landing right in the car drop off point. The dangerousness of this stunt should be ignored for the time being, and just acknowledge that these people are nuts. One of the security guards steps forward and pulls the door to the chopper open, and the first man out is Phil Raines, who has several film reels under his arm. He waves to the crowd, and turns around to show respect to the two stars stepping out into the multitude.
The first out is Dane Cook, who is dressed slightly too casually for this whole deal, but he kind of ignores the crowd, and waits impatiently for Mike Lane to step out. And boy are these ever his people. He may also be the #1 Contender to the Foundation Title, but on this night Mike Lane is taking advantage of the life he lived as a young man under the watch of his step dad, film tycoon Donovan Lucree. He soaks in the adoring public's reactions, and then begins to subtly pose for the flashbulbs going off in his direction.
(JB) This is a bit excessive.
(Tom) Shush.
The trio begin to walk down the red carpet, flanked by security and enterouge alike. Reporters are in their faces, trying to get that one soundbite to play on their programming.
(JB) We've got wrestling to get to. And that's what it says on the marquee, by Gord... wrestling.
(Tom) Not tonight, Manny Wayne, we all saw, the marquee is for the movie!
(JB) Did you just call me Manny Wayne?
(Tom) It's okay, nobody knows who he is anyway.
(A prize to anyone who can identify Manny Wayne, and the only hint you get is that he's an e-fed character with ties to Mike Lane!)
Anyways, as the stars continue to walk down the aisle, the producers realize that JB is right, and we do have more matches to get to, and a finite amount of time to do it in.
Regret
Backstage, moments following Sean Thomas' loss at the hands of Derek Clarke, we find Twitch trying to keep up with his client (and friend)'s rapid pace, as Spaz is none too pleased with what happened out there.
(Twitch) Pez, wait up! That wasn't something to get so angry over!
But either deaf to his manager's pleas or wrapped up in his own little world, Sean Thomas continues to storm ahead of Twitch without responding to anything he says. As Twitch struggles to keep up with Spaz (not ever quite being in tip-top shape), he reaches out one more time.
(Twitch) Pez, you can't let that get the best of you!
But it is to no avail as Sean Thomas makes a quick cut to the left and slams the door behind him before Twitch can get a foot in.
As Twitch stares at the door, an echoing sound can be heard from elsewhere. Twitch then twists his head in the direction of the noise, a slow, sarcasm-implying hand clap, and sees two figures observing the scene from the end of the hallway:
Alister Essex and the monster Hush.
(Essex) Bravo, Twitch, bravo. Tell me, have you always been this futile in managing talent, or are you just finding yourself unluckily unnecessary as of late?
Twitch, agitated at what's occurred tonight, scathingly launches back at the mocking Mancunian.
(Twitch) Polyester Sussex, you might think you and your buddy Whisper over there have got some kind of advantage over Spaz, Blake Bouchard and Twitch right now, but you're wrong. When Spaz gets his focus back before Oblivion, the three of us are gonna let you have it!
Essex, as per usual, is amused by Twitch's defiance but finds something under the surface more amusing than anything in particular.
(Essex) Let us have it, eh?... Mighty words coming from the manager of a man on quite the losing streak. Maybe I would put more stock into your idle threats if you could actually lead your charge to victory every once in a while, but now? It's clear to me that Thomas is lost.
And you are hardly qualified to lead him back to glory.
Twitch takes offense to this. Real offense.
(Twitch) So says you, Sussex. Pez is a former Foundation Heavyweight Champion and he's going into the Hall of Fame-...
(Essex) Two things he accomplished without your help.
Now stand aside, plebeian, for I have business to attend to.
With the menacing Hush leading the way, Twitch is forced to let the pair go through, but as he sees Essex heading for the door that Spaz went through, Twitch exclaims,
(Twitch) Hey! What's the big idea going after Pez!?
Assuming that Twitch will try to stop him, Essex turns up to his monster, nods twice in the direction of Twitch, and smiles a satisfied smile as Hush whips around, grabs a kicking Twitch by the arms, and pins him against the corridor wall.
As Twitch yells and screams for Hush to let him go, Essex quickly cuts him off.
(Essex) Silence!
I mean only to have a word with Sean Thomas, Twitch; nothing more, nothing-...
(Twitch) That's what you and Whisper here would like me to think, huh!? Get your big, gross monster off'a me, Sussex, and we'll see what kind of man you are!
Shown from behind, Essex's shoulders hunch up as he chuckles to him.
(Essex) Oh Twitch... You don't get it do you? This is bigger than you; this is Sean Thomas we're talking about. This is a Hall of Fame performer, a man who's been there and done it all, that you and I are talking about.
But fret not, you petulant, vile, pain in the buttock... You will live to regret ever signing that match contract. My monster, and myself, will make sure of that.
Now Hush, be a good boy and keep Spaz's lackey occupied while I conduct my business.
Toodles, Twitch.
And with that, Essex brushes some dirt off his vest, twists open the door and walks into the barely illuminated room; shutting the door as Twitch screams out his name futilely in rage.
(Twitch) SUSSEX!!!
And cut.
COMMERCIAL
No Jobbing
The scene opens up on “Psycho” Tommy Smith running through the backstage area.
(Tommy) Tyrone! Hey Tyrone!
Tyrone turns and waits for Tommy to catch up.
(Tyrone) Tommy? What’s up?
(Tommy) Look, I don’t hate you, and I sure as hell don’t want to fight you. Carlos is insane…He seriously screwed up my head man, but I remember everything now. I remember playing with you as a kid while he just ignored both of us.
Tommy scratches the back of his head and when he pulls it back, there is blood on his fingers.
(Tyrone) What the hell happened to you dude?
Tyrone looks at the back of Tommy’s head and grabs some ice and a towel from a nearby table. Tommy just smiles as he looks at Tyrone.
(Tommy) Carlos and I had a little disagreement earlier over my involvement in his little plan. Look, I’m not going to fight you. I’m in the match and I can’t help that but I say this is between you and Carlos. If this ends up handicapped against anyone, it’ll be him. I don’t intend to job to anyone, but I will refuse to fight this match.
Tommy places the ice pack on his head still smiling.
(Tyrone) Look, I don’t want you to just lay down. I’m not saying you have to fight, but you aren’t gonna just lay down. Leave it between me and Carlos if you want. Help me if you want, but don’t you ever job to anyone. Especially to me.
(Tommy) Alright. I’ll just stand back. After the match though, I have some things that Carlos needs to understand. Speaking of, he’s probably looking for me by now…Just watch out tonight. I’m not so sure Carlos intends to mind his own business.
Tyrone looks back and sees a very bloody Carlos walking up the hallway. From the looks of it, Tommy definitely got the upper hand of their little scuffle.
(Tyrone) Alright, thanks. Here he comes now…
(Carlos) Well well, what’s all this?
(Tommy) I’m having a conversation with my brother. Is that a problem?
Carlos smirks and looks at Tyrone.
(Tyrone) Why don’t you just leave now Carlos. I beat you once. What makes you think I won’t do it again?
(Carlos) It’s a 2 on 1 match this time.
(Tommy) No it isn’t. I told you I am not going to be a part of your little plan anymore. Just quit now while you have legs to stand on.
Carlos swings at Tommy, but Tyrone spears him to the ground. Tyrone stands back up grinning.
(Tyrone) Now, run along little Carlos, or you won’t be able to stand back up.
Static and fade.
Snake Bit
We go backstage where Mark Herriot is standing by with a very irate Peter Gilmour who was just screwed out of a win by his nemesis Snake.
(Mark) Peter, tough loss tonight.
Peter grabs Mark by his coat and shoves him into the wall. Rose puts a hand on her man's hand and Peter lets go.
(Peter) It wasn't a loss Mark. I got SCREWED by that no good Amphibian!
Peter looks directly into the camera. You can see the hatred in his eyes.
(Peter) Listen here you piece of *beep*. You think you got a fast one on me, because I bashed you in your stupid head with a chair? THINK AGAIN REPTILE BOY! what you did to me tonight will NOT go unpunished. I hope you have eyes in back of your head in your match tonight with Andy D. But do me a favor, don't hurt Andy too much because I am going to be taking his title at Oblivion in 3 weeks. So all I can say to you Snake is this.. WATCH YOUR BACK!
Peter starts to laugh wickedly as he rolls his eyes in back of his head as blood begins to come out of his mouth and drip all over his muscualr chest. Rose looks at Mark, gives him a wink then shoves him aside.
(Mark) Back to you guys. *mumbles* What an asshole!
We fade out.
No More Talk
Keith Owens sits alone backstage, in his normal blue jeans and his very own signature t-shirt. Things are quiet in this portion of the backstage area as opposed to his locker room, and Keith is just allowed to sink his head into his hands. After a few moments of desolate silence, a voice speaks to him.
(???) Keith?
Another moment passes, and then Keith looks up from his contemplative state.
Its NAFW interviewer Amie Carmichael, decked out in a designer evening gown for the premiere of Mike Lane’s movie.
(Amie) Keith, do you have a moment?
Deep down, Keith Owens doesn’t really want to talk to her, but he obliges anyway.
(Keith) Sure.
He rises off the equipment box he was sitting on and faces Amie. The contrast in their attire for this evening shows that Keith could care less about what was going on outside – and what was going to go on inside the arena at the end of the night.
(Amie) I wanted to ask you this on the red carpet, but I didn’t see you walk down it.
“The Difference Maker” interrupts.
(Keith) That’s what the side door is for.
Uncomfortable would be one way to describe the way Amie feels now after that response.
(Amie) Right, well, I just wanted to get your reaction to Trevor Cunning’s comments to you on the last edition of Annihilation. You seemed speechless then, and I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind commenting on the situation now that more time has passed.
Keith nods his head and pauses for a moment as Amie holds the mic out towards him.
(Keith) You know, I have to admit, Trevor Cunning caught me off guard last week. His comments towards me caused me to do a little soul searching to try and see about the man that I want to be. My past is an open book and everyone knows what I’ve done.
But my past isn’t what matters tonight.
Tonight, Trevor Cunning has promise to make good on his threat from the past couple of weeks by taking away the thing that matters most to me, the last thing I have, so I will feel as stripped and bare as he does.
Owens pauses for just a moment.
(Keith) So I’m going to sit here, and I’m going to wait, and Trevor can come say whatever he wants to say to turn my world upside down. Then when he’s done, I won’t have anything to say. My actions set my past reputation, and tonight, my actions will set my future reputation. Tonight, Trevor Cunning can throw whatever he wants at me, and I will respond with action in-kind.
And with that, Keith walks away leaving Amie Carmichael standing speechless.
Cut.
The Plan
We're in on the locker room area of Mike Lane, who just arrived at the arena via chopper a few minutes prior. The room is not really a locker room, it kind of looks like a lounge, with a couch, and all kinds of food available.
(Dane Cook) This place is garbage!
The voice of Dane Cook enters our ears as he is piddling over by the drinks while Mike Lane, Phil Raines, and Vanessa Chamberlain look on in amusement.
(Dane Cook) I mean, come on... where are the girls, why aren't these M&M's seperated by color, and why does it smell like a locker room in here?
(Vanessa) *Ahem* I believe it is a locker room.
Cook turns his nose up, and just walks around looking at everything. Vanessa turns to Lane.
(Vanessa) What did you need me to come back here for?
Lane drops his smile and turns to business.
(Lane) Word is that our little friend has paid a few visits to NAFW Headquarters over the past week. Me and Phil are going to go make sure that Buchanan hasn't rethought the banning. As for you, two things...
He pauses, and grins a bit.
(Lane) I want to thank you for last week. My personal issues with Alejandro kind of overshadowed the idea that Stryker would try something. And two, I want the Empire mobilized tonight. Any possible threats need to be ready to be neutralized. They can get over whatever their deal is, and work towards the cause. Find them, and have them lying in wait.
Vanessa nods, and walks out of the room. Lane turns to Raines and Cook, who is sitting on the couch with his feet up, munching on some M&M's, which astute viewers will notice have been separated out by colors. He's on green ones now.
(Lane) Alright boys, let's go say hey to Ray.
Cut.
COMMERCIAL
Shane Thomas vs. Ammo (TT)
SUMMARY: Neither man’s regular partner comes out for this match and no one knows why. Shane, however, could have used some help because Ammo pulled out the win.
Pressure
Ray Buchanan always seems to look like he wants to throw his hands up in the air when in the presence of Mike Lane, and this present moment is no different.
(Buchanan) We had meetings. I told him that it was out of my hands, and told him that he should steer clear of San Jose.
Lane and Raines both look pleased.
(Lane) Well, you'd better have, Ray, because if he shows up, there will be hell to pay. This is bigger than you.
Buchanan lets his hands rest on his desk, but they are anything but rested.
(Buchanan) I told you once already. Mike Stryker will not be in the arena tonight. You can go out for your premiere, and even though he hates it, Mike knows business, and he will not endanger the contract between Versus and the NAFW.
Lane leans on the desk, and gets close to Buchanan.
(Lane) I knew you'd come through, Ray. I always knew you were a stand up guy.
He grins, and the duo leaves the office, leaving Dane Cook (now eating brown M&M's).
(Dane Cook) Ray, dude... where can I find some bitches?
Cut.
Confusion!
Ammo returns backstage after his victory and finds Dustin laid out. He picks Dustin up and takes off. We quickly cut to a scene where Shane is expressing dissatisfaction that Dustin didn't help him out during the match to Slush of all people. Shane Thomas and Slush seem to strike a deal to team up since both of their partners are too busy being the champions. After they agree to team up, Ammo bursts in still carrying Dustin on his way to medical. Shane is still concerned about his brother, and Ammo and Shane leave with Dustin. Slush stares on suspiciously.
COMMERCIAL
We've Got Company...
(JB) Well as we saw before the break, there was drama with Dustin Thomas being knocked out and Slush agreeing to team up with Shane Thomas. You've got to imagine that there's some serious issues left to be resolved between these four.
(Tom) Gee, what gives you that idea? The fact that you've got two sets of titles belonging to two men on opposite teams?
(???) A real problem to say the least, one that requires a true solution.
(Tom) What the hell?
(JB) Your guess is as good as mine.
(???) Up here, people.
It's here that their attention, as well as everyone in the HP Pavilion and at home are fixed on a middle aged man in a three piece suit. His hair is parted to a point, think Eric Bischoff circa 1997 for a visual aid as it were. This man stands no taller than six feet two, no more than two hundred pounds at most. Needless to say, he stands front and center in the middle of the red carpet flanked by security.
(JB) Who are you?
(???) Ah, what a novel stupid question. Well, to spare you, me and the rest of the audience from having to rack that empty hole you call a brain for more...lemme get to the nitty gritty. I am "Mega Agent" Terrell J. Hawkins.
This gets a moderate reaction from those familiar with the name, but this comes from maybe a small section of the arena. The crowd outside around the red carpet have no earthly idea who this guy is or what he's doing.
(Hawkins) The last time anyone saw me, I was the agent for the team which I will be unveiling to the world momentarily. But first, some background info on these two men. The two men I bring to you today were two time former Southern States Tag Team Champions in the NWC's South region. They were not just the South's best tag team, they were the best tag team in the NWC PERIOD. There were only two teams which beat them in their careers, one of which went on to become the longest running NWC Tag Team Champions before two random bodies beat them on a fluke just before the NWC's last pay per view.
It should be noted that Terrell's face slightly tenses up mentioning this, as if it's painful to even recall to a point.
(Hawkins) In any event, due to the politics and general stupidity of the higher ups in the NWC, my clients were denied their rightful opportunity to become NWC Tag Team Champions and give the Council champions it could be proud of. So after the NWC folded up shop, my clients went overseas to Japan to dominate their tag teams and it did just that. But after a bit over there, my clients received word of the situation over here and wanted to come back to remedy things. See, initially we were hoping that the vaunted Trust Fund Kids would pose a challenge to my clients but...
A shrug from Hawkins is followed by a solemn shake of the head.
(Hawkins) Jack Daniels saw fit to dash those hopes, so now we're stuck with the present problem. Tag titles held by men posing as a tag team, whenever the big dummy isn't throwing the little one like a frisbee at people. Well gentlemen, I'm here to tell you that those belts you're holding aren't worth the leather they're made on until you beat these two gentlemen. Two men who have fought and beat the best. Two men who for the better part of 2002 to 2003 DEFINED what tag team wrestling was and is all about.
As Hawkins continues on, a black Hummer slowly and quietly pulls into view behind him. Terrell makes his way towards it as he continues on.
(Hawkins) Bottom line gentlemen and I say this to all four of you and whoever's dumb enough to get in their way, playtime's over. They're here to rectify a wrong from five years ago by claiming the top prize in the NAFW and restoring the luster to it that was lost when a drunk decided to let two guys who couldn't win gold with their designated partners...have a taste of the high life. Well gentlemen, time's up.
## And now for my next number...I'd like to return to the...to the...to the...##
## Classic ##
"Classic" by Kanye West, Nas, Rakim and KRS-One blares through the speakers as the doors to the Hummer open on both sides. A rather tall man steps out of the passenger side from the back, his hair slicked back and tied in a ponytail as his eyes are shielded by a pair of black shades. There's a gold strap around his left shoulder, the inscription on the face plate reads very simply "True F'N Tag Team Champions". He doesn't appear to be moved by the flashing lightbulbs, or even the fact that there's music blaring behind him. He just looks as anti-social as the word will allow.
The person that follows him out next, is only an inch shorter but looks like an absolute behemoth. If the Hulk wore a suit and were slightly tan instead of green, most likely he'd be this guy that's stepping out with a huge smile on his face. He has a similar belt draped over his left shoulder, his hair's practically dripping with gel as he sports a flat top. His arms are raised high as he soaks in the shower of flash bulbs taking their picture. Their agent steps in front, raising the mic as he speaks once more.
(Hawkins) The facts are real simple people. The NAFW needs a tag team to build its division around and simply put, you're looking at the two men who are going to tear it down to its simplest matter...just so it can be built up once more. You're looking at the two men who will run through team by team to become champions, then proceed to smash record after record to hold on to those belts. NAFW, Thomas and Ammo...say hello to the end of your reign as you know it. It's Bad Company, any last words?
"Any Last Werdz" by Eazy E now blares out of a flatbed which has a turntable on it. Pyro begins going off, as rockets are fired into the air and the sky's littered with all types of colors as the smaller of the two poses for the onlookers. The tallest guy, hasn't moved since stepping out of the Hummer. Aside from the fact that we can see he's still breathing, there wouldn't be a way to tell if that was really a person or if someone replaced him with a mannequin on the sly. Terrell meanwhile, has dropped his mic and stands in front of his clients with a wide smile posing as pictures continue to be snapped.
(JB) Wow. The newest team in the NAFW has made quite the entrance.
(Tom) Tell me about it. I like this Hawkins guy, definitely the anti-Twitch.
(JB) Well, looks like Bad Company has arrived and they're definitely coming for the NAFW Tag Team Champions – whoever they may be when all is said and done.
Special Delivery
We're out in the parking lot, with a wide view of the NAFW production truck. Phil Raines is approaching said production truck, with the film reels under his arm. He is whistling a tune as he steps up into the production truck.
(JB) Why are we showing this?
(Tom) Remember, tonight is all about the premiere, you can't even use the old man marquee deal.
(JB) Because this is so riveting.
After a few moments, Raines steps out of the production truck, and begins to head back for the arena. A broad fellow steps into view, and nearly bowles Raines over before heading on his way. Raines turns around, and looks at the man with disgust on his face.
(Raines) Prick.
Cut.
Trevor Cunning's Dirty Little Secret
Cut to the outside of the arena. We’re at Mike Lane’s red carpet for the premiere of The Defense, though it’s rather late in the show for people to be arriving at the arena. Regardless, the paparazzi are still standing by, along with the legitimate photographers and fans who couldn’t secure a ticket for Annihilation tonight at the HP Pavilion. A rental luxury car pulls up to the arena and sits at the foot of the red carpet for several moments until the driver of the car gets out and opens the back door.
Out steps Trevor Cunning, wearing 7 Jeans, custom Chuck Taylor converse shoes, and a white polo shirt popped underneath a black polo shirt, both collars popped of course. Cunning has reflective lens oversized aviator sunglasses on and is chatting to someone on the phone using his new Jawbone Bluetooth accessory.
(Tom) Finally! Its Trevor Cunning, making his appearance fashionably late.
(JB) Any later, and these folks outside might have gone home already.
Cunning acts totally indifferent to the camera bulbs flashing and some blonde bimbos yelling his name. As Cunning gets in front of the “photo op” area of the red carpet, the one with the backdrop with the logos of the NAFW, Versus, and The Defense plastered a billion times, he takes out his ear piece to end his call and tucks it into his pant pocket. He stops and turns to look at a sizable LCD screen where the trailer for The Defense is playing over and over and over right next to the “photo op” area. He then turns back and motions the Annihilation camera crew to come closer.
(Trevor) You know, I’d almost be offended that you don’t have someone like that floozy Amie Carmichael waiting here to interview me. The best always arrive fashionably late. But I’m willing to let it slide because tonight isn’t going to be a night of talking… it’s going to be a night of watching.
Beat.
(Trevor) In just a few minutes time, Mike Lane will boost Versus’ ratings through the roof by letting you all see the premier of The Defense live tonight – and he’ll still find a way to sell out the box offices when the movie hits theaters near you.
“The Godfather” pauses for just a moment before continuing on.
(Trevor) But before we see that, I’ve got to live up to my word. Last week, I told Keith Owens I would take away the one thing he has left since he took away everything from me when he ruined the Trust and sent his old man to the slammer, and since then, I know you’ve been hanging on to the edge of your seat wondering just what “The Godfather” could possibly have up his sleeve.
(Tom) I definitely want to know!
(Trevor) Following in the footsteps of such greats like Pam and Tommy, Pam and Bret Michaels, Pam and Tom Kalhoun, JB and Fred Durst, Kramer and Chronic, X-Pac and Chyna, Paris Hilton and Rick Solomon, Kim Kardashian and Ray-J, and Dustin “Screech” Diamond and Tyler’s Mom comes a celebrity adult entertainment video like you’ve never seen before.
(JB) What in Gord’s name is he talking about?
(Tom) Don’t deny it Mannwagon. We know you let Fred Durst tap your Mannhole.
(JB) That’s absolutely disgusting and uncalled for Tom.
Cunning continues his grand reveal speech on the red carpet.
(Trevor) Keith, you forced my hand to do this when you cut off my excess income. You have no one to blame for this but yourself. For tonight, I reveal the exclusive trailer for my movie The Godfather: Part IV – Keith, Your Girlfriend Is A Slut Whore!
(JB) WHAT?
The crowd surrounding Trevor gasps at the title as Trevor takes a couple of steps in front of the LCD screen where the trailer for The Defense is abruptly cut off and the trailer for Trevor’s porno begins to play.
The video opens the classic instrumental theme from the previous three “The Godfather” movies. The film is grainy and dark. It’s similar to Paris Hilton’s night vision video, except instead of green, it is black and white with very poor lighting. You can make out Cunning sitting in a dingy motel chair in a bath robe entirely too short for his frame. He smokes out of a pipe like he’s Hugh Heffner for a few moments until a chick walks across the screen wearing nothing but a thong. Her back remains to the camera so we don’t actually see her face, or her fun bags. She straddles Cunning and rips open his robe and begins to run her hands up and down his chest until they run below his belt, so to speak.
(Trevor) Baby, I’m going to make you an offer you can’t refuse.
And with that, Cunning pushes her head down into his lap where you can only assume a certain sex act is going to begin. However, before we can see anything, the video cuts away to shots of the couple in action – primarily, Cunning standing behind her at the edge of the bed while she’s on her hands and knees. There is a mirror over the headrest and Cunning flexes like a body builder and a giant tool as he thrusts away on the female. Thankfully he still has he robe on, so we don’t have to see Cunning’s ass – and for the regular cable television viewers at home, we don’t see anything that would be XXX rated. During this, the girl has her head down against the mattress only looking up briefly for a moment, and she indeed has some similar features to Melissa Hayes.
We cut away from that scene to Trevor turning the camera on his own face, dripping with sweat.
(Trevor) You don’t need money when you have the money shot!
And with that line, Cunning laughs as he takes a swig from a bottle of Jack Daniels. The camera fumbles downward and we can here him say “Come here *BEEP*” before the grainy movie fades out.
We fade back in to Trevor leaning with one arm on the LCD screen, laughing his ass off.
(Trevor) That’s right Keith – I *BEEPED* your girlfriend.
(JB) I am absolutely shocked and appalled. Never in all of my years sitting behind this broadcast table have I seen something as filthy and disgraceful as that spectacle.
(Tom) Where can I order a copy?
It takes Cunning another moment to stop laughing.
(Trevor) Not only that, but I had her long before you ever did. I felt her inside and out before you could even buy her services from her outside of a dive bar. You see, when I was following the NAFW town by town, beer by beer, unemployed and blitzed out of my mind, before I was reduced to wear a bear suit and beat up a bunch of jobbers just to get my job back, I found your little comatose ring rat hoping to score the managerial services of some poor sap.
Well, I had no career to speak of and no reason for her to manage me. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t have her manage me back into a motel room and pork her all night long Owens.
(Tom) Shades of the Nature Boy! You da man now Trevor! Stylin’ and profilin’!
(JB) . . .
(Trevor) I gotta say Keith, I kind of miss the way she pulled my hair as she screamed in ecstasy when I was eight inches deep inside her – you probably know half that sensation in your case – and she was begging for me to pound her harder. I haven’t had a lay as good as that since me and my boy Dowzer double teamed this one *BEEP* back at the frat house in San Diego.
And until now, there was no reason to ever tell you about our little one night stand since there was no reason for Melissa or me to jeopardize our share of the Trust Fund.
But you don’t have to worry Keith, I haven’t slammed her since that glorious night. After all, she wouldn’t be much fun just lying there and taking it silently in the hospital room. Though you might want to question her doctor – he always struck me as a bit of a perv.
(JB) Alright, this is absolutely enough. Will someone please put an end to this for cryin’ out loud?
JB’s wish from the announce table isn’t answered just yet because Cunning continues to run his mouth on the red carpet.
(Trevor) You shouldn’t feel upset or ashamed though Keith. Many a man would love to have the sloppy seconds of Trevor Cunning. And don’t worry; you’ll get a piece of the pie too. In fact, I’ll send you an autographed copy of The Godfather: Part IV!
Just as Trevor finishes uttering those words, from the crowd buzzing with shock and excitement comes a man flying over the red carpet to tackle Cunning on the other side!
(JB) It’s Keith Owens! By Gord Cunning is going to get what he deserves now!
While Good Ol’ JB marks out, Owens sits on top of Cunning and is just pounding away at his face with such tenacity that top MMA ground and pounders wouldn’t want to be in Cunning’s position right now. A couple of security guards try to break up the fight, but Owens clocks them with some lefts and some rights. Eventually Cunning reverses the fight and tries to throw in a few haymakers while he retreats. However, Owens grabs his ankle and trips him up again. “The Godfather” falls on his knees and Keith jumps up to his feet to deliver a sickening soccer kick to the gut of Cunning. “The Difference Maker” begins to stomp the proverbial mud hole into his ex-friend and partner before he bends down to drag him up by the hair. Owens looks to throw him into the “photo-op” background, but Cunning throws a quick elbow then tosses Owens through the décor! Cunning puts his hands on his knees to catch a breather for a moment, but its one moment too long because Keith comes diving back through the logo-plastered prop to tackle Cunning once again! Keith grabs a hold of the back of Trevor’s designer jeans with one hand and his hair with the other, then shuffles forward a few feet sending Cunning catapulting head first into the LCD screen!
(JB) Keith Owens is hell bent on destroying Trevor Cunning!
(Tom) This is attempted murder! Throw Owens in the slammer with his father!
Some of the wrestling fans who were at the red carpet begin chanting “Holy Shit!” as the photographers and paparazzi take pictures non-stop and record this fight on their own video cameras. Cunning lies on his stomach and has shards of glass hanging off his face. He feels the blood trickling down his face and begins to scream in pain. Owens pauses for just a moment to catch his own breath before walking over to where he tossed Trevor. He kicks over the velvet rope that was separating the fans from the red carpet and begins to choke out Cunning with it! Trevor struggles to get any fingers between his neck and the rope to help him breathe, but his attempts are pretty futile. The choke out only lasts another few seconds before the NAFW security team, led by Ryan McJohnson, bursts onto the scene to break up the brawl. McJohnson immediately yanks Owens off of Cunning and restrains him while some of the other security personnel check on Cunning. A few moments later, Commissioner Buchanan and EMTs rush onto the scene.
(Buchanan) Get Trevor Cunning medical attention and get him out of there. I want them both gone! McJohnson, get Keith Owens off this property immediately! These two are suspended until I take further action!
The EMT’s begin to brace Cunning’s neck to stabilize him for a stretcher ride while McJohnson restrains Owens and leads him over to a police squad car for the time being.
(Buchanan) As my way of apologizing for this debacle, everyone present here on the red carpet is welcome to join us backstage in the arena for the premiere of The Defense later tonight. Thank you, and enjoy the rest of your night.
Buchanan turns and immediately barks orders at some of the arena staff to clean up the red carpet, while security and ushers try to get fans off the red carpet area and into the backstage area. The camera focuses on the bloodied Trevor Cunning before we cut back to the ringside announce table.
(JB) By gawd, the insanity on the red carpet has nearly ruined tonight’s show and movie premiere, but I’ll be damned if Trevor Cunning didn’t have this coming to him after he showed that tasteless movie clip.
(Tom) Are you kidding me JB? The public is going to eat this up! You better watch TMZ tonight because this is going to be all over the screen and across the blogsphere on the interwebs.
(JB) None of what just occurred had any place on a wrestling program like ours Tom, and I’m sure there is going to be hell to pay for both Owens and Cunning once the corporate suits get over the shock of this. I’m almost speechless.
(Tom) You’ll still write about it in your BBQ-Blog, I just know it!
(JB) I think you have me confused for someone else, Bear.
(Tom) Fine, I’ll just read it from Perez Hilton or Stud Muffan’s blog instead.
(JB) Trevor Cunning is one conniving son of a gun to show a clip of him and allegedly Melissa Hayes engaging in acts that should only be reserved for the marital bed! Where is his compassion? Melissa Hayes is lying in a hospital bed comatose and has been for months!
(Tom) And where was Keith’s compassion for his friends and family when he sent his father to jail? Not only did he backstab his own flesh and blood, but he left Trevor Cunning high and dry again with no Trust Fund! And look what he did to Trevor tonight – he could have killed him! “The Godfather” could be blind now for all we know!
(JB) This blood feud between Keith Owens and Trevor Cunning is far from over – far from it. We’ll be back after this commercial break. Gord knows we need one…
COMMERCIAL
Snake vs. Andy D (AC)
Non-Title
(JB) Well, folks, it's time for our main event as Snake takes on the NAFW Atlantic Champion, Andy D, in a non-title match!
(Tom) And assuming this match will be anything like the other matches, it's sure to be a great one!
(JB) Especially with the history these two have had over the past few months. I mean, these two had nothing to do with each other until that night when Andy D almost, as Snake puts it, "killed" Wilson. And since then, Snake's been hell bent on making sure Andy D gets what's coming to him.
(Tom) Well, as the saying goes, Mannwagon...And eye for an eye.
(Troy) Ladies and gentlemen, the following non-title match-up is scheduled for one fall!
The Arena lights go down as the 'Ace' Signature logo appears on screen. A large '1' is spray panted over the top before Keep Yourself Alive II kicks in over the PA. Andy comes out and heads towards the ring, hand slapping a couple of the audience along the way.
(Troy) Introducing first, weighing in at 197 pounds...From Somewhere in the UK...
Andy climbs into the ring and heads to his turnbuckle, flipping his bucket hat off his head and placing on the metal part of the turnbuckle. He takes off his shades and places them on the hat before turning around ready for the match.
(Troy) He is the NAFW Atlantic Champion....ANDY D!
(JB) And here comes the man who has been on the recieving end of some very serious attacks over the past few weeks with Xavier Caine and Peter Gilmour making the statements that they want the belt that he's holding.
The opening rift for "I Don't Wanna Stop" by Ozzy Osbourne plays over the PA as the word "SNAKE" fades in and out on the titantron.
(Troy) And his opponent...
As Troy is just about to announce the second competitor in the match, the man that Andy D is facing cuts him off with his own microphone.
(Snake) Wait, wait, wait...Troy...Take a seat. I'll handle it from here...
Troy looks around confused, then at the referee and Andy D, who are just as confused as he is. Eventually, Troy just shrugs as he steps out of the ring. Snake, on the other hand, has made his way onto the stage with a clipboard in his free hand.
(Snake) Troy, you were doing a fabulous job up until you started talking...As you made a rather big mistake...
Snake starts slowly to make his way down the ramp as he talks whilst several fans are booing.
(Snake) You see, Commisioner Ray Buchanan told me that I could use Wilson's Atlantic Championship rematch clause any time I wanted. I wanted to use this baby at Oblivion and humiliate you on the, for lack of a better term, "Biggest Stage Of Them All."
Snake gets near the ring, and Andy D is confused, but is still on his gaurd in case Snake tries anything funny.
(Snake) Unfortunatly, that wasn't part of Wilson's plan...And neither is the match that was set up for tonight.
Snake starts to climb up the steps and walk across the apron.
(Snake) Andy...Wilson had a better plan...So tonight, we're not going to have a singles match...
Andy D let's his gaurd down for a brief moment and looks at the referee, who just shrugs back at him. Snake climbs into the ring through the middle and top ropes and looks down at the clipboard.
(Snake) ...Instead-
CRACK! With Andy D caught off gaurd, Snake decks him in the head with the microphone, taking him down to the mat with one blow.
(Tom) WHAT THE HELL!?
(JB) Snake just leveled Andy D with the microphone!
(Snake) -We're having a TITLE MATCH!
Snake shoves the clipboard into the referee's chest and tosses the mic to ringside. As the referee looks over the paperwork, Snake yells at him to ring the bell. The referee, not exactly knowing what to do, holds out his arms, quickly glancing between the clipboard and Andy D.
(JB) Don't do it! Andy D's out cold!
(Tom) HAH! Andy D's uppens have come! THIS IS BRILLIANT!
(JB) He just blindsided Andy D! How is that brilliant!?
(Tom) He's embarassing Andy D before the biggest stage in the history of NAFW, then he can do it again at Oblivion! He's essentially eliminating all of his opponents at once!
Snake vs. Andy D (AC)
Atlantic Championship
After a several seconds of arguing, as well as several glances at the clipboard with the contract, the referee reluctantly rings the bell. Snake laughs and goes for a nonchalant cover. The referee once again looks unsure about the whole situation and doesn't go down for a pin attempt count. Once Snake realises this, Snake yells something that is inaudible at him and points at Andy D, followed by the "count the pin" motions before laying back down on Andy D. The referee shakes his head as he reluctantly gets on his knees to count the pin.
One...
(JB) NO! NOT LIKE THIS!
Two...
(JB) KICK OUT ANDY! KICK OUT!
(Tom) WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION!
THREE-NO! Andy D kicked out!
(JB) ANDY D KICKS OUT! ANDY D IS STILL THE CHAMPION!
(Tom) For now!
Snake, who is on his knee's next to Andy D's body, cocks his head slightly before going for another quick pin attempt, but when the referee once again slowly goes to count, Andy D is able to kick out before three. Snake looks down at Andy D before pelting him with as many right hands as the referee will allow as they inch closer to the ropes. Once Snake's convinced he's done enough damage he goes for another pin attempt. This time, though, Andy D doesn't kick out. Instead, he's close enough to get his foot on the ropes just before the three. Snake is visibly getting more and more frustrated by the second as for his next pin attempt, Snake drags Andy D towards the center of the ring and grabs both legs when he goes for a pin. Unfortunatly for Snake, this isn't enough as Andy D kicks out once again.
(JB) The champion's still got some fight left in him!
(Tom) Damnit!
Snake slams on the mat in frustration as he gets up and gets in a verbal argument with the referee, making motions of "COUNT THE DAMN PIN!" The referee, who's making motions claiming he could throw out the match if he wanted to, isn't letting Snake intimidate him. By this point, Andy D has made his way to the corner and pulled himself up to his feet. Snake turns towards Andy D, smacks his bicep, and sprints in Andy D's direction. Snake ducks down for a shoulder block to the mid-section in the corner, but unfortunatly for Snake, Andy D has enough wherewithall to pull himself out of the corner at the last possible second, causing Snake to send himself shoulder first into the ringpost. Andy D shakes out the remaining cobwebs and checks his forhead for possible blood as Snake is slow to pull himself out of the corner. With both men having regained some amounts of stamina, Andy D grabs ahold of Snake's bad arm and quickly gets him in a back hammerlock. A few seconds of struggling, and Andy gets Snake down face first on the mat where he quickly switches over to a front headlock. Not to be outdone, Snake is able to use his good arm to reposition himself on top of Andy D with a back hammerlock. Snake then does his best to hook Andy D's other arm and uses what strength he has to roll Andy D over for a pin attempt, but Andy D is able to break the hold from the bad arm to get out of the pin.
Snake still has his good arm wrapped around one of Andy D's arms and rolls Andy D over and reapply the back hammerlock. Snake then uses his leg strength to jump up and drive a few knee into Andy D's shoulder, followed by wrenching on the arm. Andy D is able to get both he and Snake up to their feet and, with Snake behind him, elbows him on the side of the head, causing him to release the hold. Andy D turns and in one swift motion sends a forearm at Snake, knocking him backwards into the ropes. Andy D shakes off the damage as walks towards Snake and is met with a boot to the stomach, followed by a forearm shot from Snake. Snake then grabs Andy D's bad arm and wrenches on it before semding his good shoulder into Andy D's bad one. Snake then looks for a mahistrol cradle, but doesn't roll through for the pin, instead, he stays standing for a modified arm wrench. Andy D is able to once again force his way up to his feet, then force Snake into the corner and hit a back elbow, causing Snake to release the hold again.
Andy D throws a forearm, then whips Snake into the ropes, connecting with a knee to the gut on the rebound. He follows that up with a punt to the mid section, causing Snake to roll on the mat in pain and allowing Andy D to try to shake off some of the pain on his shoulder. Snake is eventually able to get to a seated position, only to get a knee to the spine, followed by a kick to Snake's bad shoulder. Snake quickly rolls to the ropes and gets to a knee and pulls himself up. Andy D then starts to get in a few forearms to the jaw before attempting to whip him into the ropes. Andy D goes for another knee to the gut, but out of instinct, Snake turns that move into a school boy pin attempt for a quick two count. Both men get to their feet, and Snake hits a quick armdrag, following that up with several kicks and stomps to Andy's bad shoulder. Snake only gets a one count for his troubles. Snake quickly applies a standing armlock to a downed Andy D, and every attempt to take Snake off of said move is countered as Snake is determined to damage that shoulder even more.
After some more kicks and shoulder blocks, Andy D is able to counter an irish whip attempt, but even that is short lived as Snake gets in another kick to the shoulder, taking Andy D off his feet. Snake decides he's going to go high risk, but Andy D isn't out of it enough as he is able to get to his feet in time to run up the ropes. What no one expects though, is that Andy D and Snake have a meeting of the minds, and Snake falls to the mats on the outside as Andy D falls to the mats in the ring. The referee starts the ten count for both men. By the count of 5, Snake's the first to move as he's gotten up to a knee. By 7, Andy D is seen stirring in the ring and Snake's slowly making his way back to the ring. At 9, Snake is able to roll under the ropes, and Andy D has gotten back to his feet. Andy D sees Snake is getting back into the ring and starts to stomp on Snake's bad shoulder before dragging him to the center of the ring and getting a two count pin attempt. At this point, Andy D applies an arm lock of his own, and unfortunatly for Snake, any attempt that he makes on getting out of the move, Andy D is able to counter.
Eventually, Snake is able to get out of a hold and send Andy D face first into the corner, but a body splash attempt is avoided and countered with a back drop. Andy D goes for a pin attempt, but just barely gets a two count. Andy D picks up Snake and whips him into the ropes for a clothesline, but Snake ducks under it, and and on the rebound, Snake and Andy D both think cross body, and it pays off for both of them, as both men are taken out for several seconds. Snake is the first to move, and he crawls over for a cover, and almost gets the victory. Snake picks up Andy D and whips him into the corner, but the agility of the Atlantic Champion catches Snake off gaurd as he hits a rebound flying crossbody. With Snake down, Andy D calls for the Dragon's Bite, but when Andy D goes to send the knee into the head, Snake is able duck under, get to his feet, grab Andy D's head, and connects with the Venom Sting. Snake could go for the pin, unfortunatly for him, the momentum of the move sent the now unconscious Andy D rolling out of the ring.
Snake lays on his back for a few seconds to catch his breath before he rolls out of the ring himself, knowing he can't win the belt on a count out. The referee starts the ten count, and for the first four or five counts, Snake has some trouble getting Andy D to his feet. By about seven Snake's gotten Andy D to the edge of the ring. By eight, he's got Andy D on the apron. At nine, he rolls him into the ring. Now all the Snake has to do is get himself under the ring. Unfortunatly, by the time he gets his own foot up to the apron, the referee has made the final count and calls for the bell.
(Troy) And here is your winner by count out and STILL NAFW Atlantic Champion...ANDY D!
(JB) Good Gord! Andy D just beat Snake and retains the Atlantic Championship in this impromptu title match!
(Tom) What a crock! For the second straight show, Snake was screwed out of a win by a crooked referee. First it was Peter Gilmour with a handful of tights, this time he was counted out!
Snake looks like he's about to lose it as he starts to throw a mini-tantrum on the outside of the ring. Snake goes over to the timekeeper and grabs the Atlantic Championship belt and gets into the ring with it. Snake stalks Andy D with it, and once Andy D gets to his knees, Snake decks him across the side of the head, possibly knocking him out for the rest of the night.
(JB) GOOD GORD NO!
(Tom) YES! HE DESERVES IT! DO IT AGAIN!
Snake sets up Andy D to hit him again, but doesn't have that chance as we see Peter Gilmour come through the crowd, jump the barricade, and slide into the ring.
(JB) And here comes Peter Gilmour!
(Tom) Thank you, Captain Obvious!
Snake drops the belt and the duo get in a slug-fest. Peter, who is a bit more fresh having not just wrestled a match, is able to quickly get the upper hand. Peter whips Snake into the ropes and on the rebound goes to hit the Gilmour Driver, but Snake is able to drop behind, then jump up to hit a dropkick, sending Peter through the ropes and to the mats below. Peter sits on one knee as Snake eggs on Peter to get back into the ring.
(JB) And Snake was able to fend off Peter Gilmour!
Suddenly, "Down and Out" by Tantric begins to play over the PA system.
(Tom) Here we go! Let's see how Snake does