After the customary PPV screen, FBI warning about piracy (this best not end up on YouTube!), and the traditional NAFW introduction video, your television fades into a black and white hype video for Death Wish, with music provided courtesy of 30 Seconds to Mars and their hit song “The Kill.”

What if I wanted to break
Laugh it all off in your face
What would you do?
What if I fell to the floor
Couldn't tear this anymore
What would you do, do, do?


Slowly, standing shots of Dan Stein, Mike Stryker, Crazy Boy, Andy D, Spaz, Mike Lane, Lorenzo Richards, and “The Reaper” Leonard Aarons fade in and out on the video.

Come, break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you


As the song picks up, action shots are shown of all of the above mentioned being put through sick spots from the past handful of Annihilations. Intermixed are images of ladders and all the championship belts.

What if I wanted to fight
Beg for the rest of my life.
What would you do?
You say you wanted more
What are you waiting for
I'm not running from you


Once more, more standing shots are shown, this time of Mike Castleberry, Hush, Shane Thomas, Dustin Thomas, Snake, Wilson, Keith Owens, and Trevor Cunning.

Come, break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you


Now shots of the bad guys dishing out punishment are shown, full of chair shots, kendo sticks, blood, treachery, deception, and lies as more people suffer through large ladder spots from Three Wishes past.

I tried to be someone else
But nothing seemed to change
I know now: this is who I really am inside
Finally found myself
Fighting for a chance
I know now, THIS IS WHO I REALLY AM


As “The Kill” continues to play, the pyrotechnics display goes off inside the arena and the crowd reacts to a thunderous ovation. Tons of signs are held up in the air while other fans applaud. The camera pans around the arena showing some clever signs, like “Grand Slam Owens’ Head In!,” “I Brought A Backup Wilson!,” and “Finally The Len Has Come Back To Oakland!” The cameras cut down to ringside where JB Mann and Tom “The Bear” Kalhoun are standing by.

(JB) Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Oracle Arena in Oakland, California! Tonight we’ve got a hell of a show for you including Mike Stryker taking on the unstoppable Hush in a Last Man Standing match and we will crown our new NAFW Tag Team Champions and the Foundation Heavyweight Championship could even change hands in our main event Three Wishes match!


Red, White, and Blue



(Tom) But Mannwagon, do you have any idea what this all about?

The camera cuts to the stage where there are red, white, and blue banners decorating the stage and a podium standing front and center on at the top of the ramp.

(JB) I don’t Bear, but it looks like someone has got something important to say here tonight to kick off Death Wish.

Attention is turned to the center of the ring where ring announcer Troy Gilmore stands in a tuxedo with a microphone in hand.

(Troy) Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to a personal friend of NAFW owner Hector Gonzales, being accompanied to the ring by his son “The Difference Maker” Keith Owens, I present to you former Old School Wrestling owner and United States Senator from Illinois… Steven Owens!

“The Good Senator” steps out from behind the back curtain with Keith to a chorus of booing from the crowd. Both he and Keith are wearing suits. Keith’s is grey with an orange tie and the Senator’s is navy blue with a red power tie.

The Senator steps forward to the podium and grips the edges of it on both sides. Keith stands behind his father at stage right.


(Senator) Ladies and gentlemen, I come here tonight with a special gratitude in my heart towards this company’s owner, Hector Gonzales.

The crowd continues to boo Senator Owens and Keith relentlessly.

(JB) This doesn’t surprise me one bit. The last time Keith and his father were in an NAFW ring, the company closed down!

(Senator) And I also would like to thank you, the fans, for allowing me to be here on this very special night.

The crowd continues to boo, but the Senator continues on anyway.

(Senator) I’m especially pleased to see you all are exerting your right to freedom of speech.

This prompts some smarks in the crowd to begin chanting “We want wrestling! We want wrestling!” and “Shut up Owens!” followed by a five clap.

(Senator) But there is another important freedom you have in this country, and that’s the freedom to vote. In 2008, the United States will hold a general election and in this election, the people will choose a new president to lead this great country.

The Senator pauses and looks around the area at the fans who have somewhat simmered down from their brief derogatory chants.

(Senator) And that is why I have come here to Oakland, California tonight!

Cheap pop for name dropping the city!

(Senator) Too often, normal people just like you fans are ignored by politicians on both sides of the political spectrum. Too often, you are seen as nothing more than a statistic, a potential vote that might not be worth their time to pursue.

Cue dramatic pause.

(Senator) But I refuse to let that go on any longer. You are all worth the time of politicians, especially my time. In the past, I’ve tried to look out for your safety. But tonight, I am announcing I am here to look out for all of your needs as American citizens as a difference maker! I want to be tag team partners with each and every one of you! Tonight, I am staking my claim for what some could consider the heavyweight championship of the United States government! Tonight, I am announcing my candidacy for President of the United States of America in the 2008 election!

Some of the crowd immediately pops, but before their real reaction can be heard, an insane amount of fireworks blast off on the stage and in the ring, in red, white, and blue no less.

Keith raises his fathers arm in the air in victory as a banner unravels reading “Owens ’08.” After a few moments of waving and posing, the Senator and his son head to the back as the camera cuts back to the announcer’s table.


(Tom) I can’t believe it Mannidate! Senator Owens is now a presidential candidate!

(JB) It certainly is huge news to have a presidential candidate announce his running, LIVE on Pay Per View!

(Tom) Indeed it is! I know who is getting my vote next November.

(JB) Are you even registered to vote?

(Tom) Yeah, I signed up on TheNAFW.Com for Vote or Die at the last Pay Per View!

(JB) Bear, you’ve got a thing or two to learn. But right now we’re going to put politics aside. Tonight, not only do we crown new Tag Team Champions, but we’re crowning a new X-Treme Champion as well!


Dan Stein vs. Mike Castleberry
No Disqualification Submission Match
X-Treme Championship




(Tom) The X-Treme title is the second most prestigious title in this company, it could even be argued that at one time it was more prestigious than the Foundation title.

(JB) Very true, Bear. Now Mike Castleberry and "The Lights" Dan Stein get a shot at a benchmark title in this company.

The lights cut out in the arena, bathing it in darkness, the only lighting is from a few camera flashes. Suddenly, a guitar riff pierces the air over the PA, blue lights flashing at the entryway, revealing Castleberry standing, his arms foled, staring at the ring, a look of fierce determination on his face. The crowd cheers as he stands, surveying his surroundings.

Its twilight and I wake up hot
My body’s soaked in a cold, cold sweat
I reenact the lurid scenes
And clawed engravings in my head

The first verse of Megadeth's "Die Dead Enough" plays, as Castleberry starts his march down to the ring as the chorus picks up.

Oh, I can’t punch hard enough (and I run)
I can’t kick high enough (and I run)
I can’t shoot straight enough (and I run)
I can’t hold on enough (and I run)
Oh, I can’t stay down enough (and I run)
I can’t take pain enough (and I run)
I can’t bleed fast enough
I can’t die dead enough

Castleberry stands in front of the ring, stretching a bit, crackling his knuckles, then his neck, making sure everything is lose.

The air is thick, but the oxygen’s thin
My heart is beating like a drum, boom!
And ice is flowing through my veins
Explosives on my lips and in my lungs

He hops into the ring, as the lights go back on in the arena, waiting is his corner for the opening bell, the chrorus playing again, fading out.

The lights cut. The arena goes black. The fans buzz in anticipation. The megatron flashes gold quickly, then go blank again. A second passes, and two pyro rockets shoot off from the stage in an 'x' fashion. Then, the megatron flashes gold again, and the words 'The Lights' remain up. 'Apocalypse Please' by Muse begins to play as Dan Stein walks out from the backstage area, then jogs down to the ring.


(JB) Both these guys look to be on top of their game.

(Tom) Yea, but you have to give the experience edge to Castleberry. He has wrestled for this title on more than one occasion.

COMMENTARY FILTER: ON

As the bell sounds, as in his previous match, Castleberry meets his opponent in the middle of the ring, standing eye to eye with Stein, a smirk crosses Castleberry's face, as he surprisingly extends his hand to Stein. Stein seems surprised, as Castleberry keeps his hand extended, then complies shaking his hand in a show of sportsmanship. As Stein attempts to break the handshake, Castleberry keeps a firm grip, pulling him so they stand chest to chest, his eyes still locked and can clearly be seen saying "You're mine", before he lets go, and hits Stein with a slap across the face. Stein is infuriated, and within seconds, the two are exchange hard right hands, neither man backing down. Stein begins to rally, hitting blow after blow, staggering Castleberry, until Castleberry throws a kick to Stein's stomach, doubling him over, and Castleberry hits him with a vicious DDT and stand over him, laughing, and then begins to stomp the back of Stein's head.

Mike lifts Stein up and drops him back down to the mat where he throws a few elbows to the back of Dan's head. With "The Lights" momentarily dazed, Castleberry rolls out of the ring and makes a bee-line for a steel chair. He grabs one and rolls back in but Dan Stein drops an elbow right into his lower back as he does so. This gives Dan the opportunity to grab the chair and swings for the fences at Mike's head. Castleberry has enough presence of mind to somehow avoid the chair shot and hits a jumping kick to the side of Dan's head before he can recover from missing the chair shot.

Mike now picks up the chair and sets it up so it is standing. He grabs Dan Stein and Irish whips him into the ropes. On the rebound Castleberry hits a drop toe hold right into the seat of the chair and Stein goes rolling out of the ring. Mike plays to the crowd a little bit while Stein gets to work sliding two tables into the ring. He then finds a kendo stick, trash can, fire extinguisher, and a tool box underneath the ring which he throws into the ring also. Stein gets back into the ring but Castleberry has picked up the steel chair again and he lays Dan out with another chair shot. He opens the chairs and hooks it around Stein’s neck and begins to choke him out. The referee checks to see if Stein submits but he doesn’t. Stein manages to elbow out of it. As he pulls the chair back over his head, he gathers enough strength to turn the momentum against Castleberry and drive the chair into his face, causing Mike to bleed.

Dan then crawls over to the fire extinguisher and pulls the pin. Castleberry comes over and attempts to pick Dan up by his head but as he does so Stein shoots him in the face with the extinguisher blinding Mike. Dan then cracks the extinguisher over Castleberry’s head and throws it out of the ring. Now he picks up the kendo stick and applies a camel clutch using the Kendo stick to choke Castleberry while he does so. Mike refuses to tap however and Dan releases the hold out of frustration. Stein argues with the ref a little bit and Mike is now digging inside the tool box. He finds a screwdriver and holds it up for the crowd to see. Castleberry then charges across the ring and takes Dan down with a Lou Thez press and then begins to stab Stein in the forehead with the screwdriver drawing a large quantity of blood.

Stein can barely see through his crimson mask and it gets worse when Mike drapes the trashcan over his head "trapping" him. Mike then begins to assault the trash can with the kendo stick and after several shots Dan finally falls down and rolls out of it. Castleberry applies an ankle lock but out of no where, Stein rolls and manages to lock in a triangle choke! Castleberry reaches for and finds the ropes but this match is no DQ so it does no good. It looks as if Castleberry has faded and the referee lifts his arm once… It drops… Twice… And on the second raise, Castleberry grabbed the screwdriver again and stabs “The Lights” in the leg, getting the choke released! Mike picks Dan up and whips him toward the corner where a table is set up but Stein reverses it and Mike hits the table hard but not enough to break it. Dan then limps but manages to charge in and spears Castleberry through the table.

Cue the NAFW chant.

Both men are on the mat lying down for a while and the ref reaches a nine count before both answer the call at the same time. As they get up they start exchanging fisticuffs. Stein is all dazed and punch drunk and it gets a lot worse when Mike kicks him in the gut and piledrivers him on top of the steel chair. Castleberry would probably have this match wrapped up right here after that but he doesn't think he has done enough punishment. He just grabs Dan and tosses his limp body over the top rope. Castleberry then throws the second table out of the ring and onto the floor and Mike soon follows after.

Castleberry grabs a hold of the table and at the same time Dan Stein and then proceeds to drag both up the ramp. Castleberry has a deranged look in his eye as he heads backstage for a moment and returns with a table, setting it up and then lifting Stein, laying him across it. He stops and raises his hand, pointing to the NAFW-tron and begins to climb it. The crowd begin to cheer loudly as he stands on the top, and then leaps off, hitting his signature move, the Blackout, a flipping guillotine legdrop onto Stein, through the table.
Cue the holy shit chant.

Both men lay motionless for awhile, until Castleberry rises to his feet and places Stein in a sharpshooter. Stein is completely unconscious at this point, unable to respond to the ref, or even tap out. The ref lifts Stein's hand 3 times, all 3 times his hand falls limply, and the ref orders for the bell. Castleberry falls to his back at the sound of the bell as medics rush out with stretchers for both men, while the ref runs to ringside and grabs the X-Treme title. Castleberry refuses to be put on a stretcher rising to his feet and claims his title, holding the belt high, to standing ovation for both men, before he collapses again, and is helped by two officials to the back.

COMMENTARY FILTER: OFF

(JB) Mike Castleberry is the new X-Treme Champion!

(Tom) Holy shit he is crazy!

(JB) What a spectacular finish to one dirty nasty drag out brawl.

(Tom) The Blackout off the NAFW-Tron was sick!

(JB) Dan Stein must have lost a ton of blood in that encounter.


Pumped… Yet Relaxed



(CB) Dude, Andy, are you ready for this? I know I AM! I am ready to get tag team gold around my waist finally!

The tag team of Andy D and Tyrone "Crazy Boy" Smith are standing in a backstage area, pretty close to the arena. In the back, you can hear the arena roaring with anticipation of the upcoming matches and the rest of the PPV, but mostly the Three Wishes Match. Tyrone appears to be very antsy and very anxious to get this match underway... but there is something about Andy D that doesn't seem quite right...

He is too relaxed about the whole situation.


(Andy D) Yeah, I guess. I'm ready to get this thing on the go.

(CB) You guess?! This is the chance of your lifetime and you GUESS you are ready to go?

(Andy D) Yeah. I am here to repay you a favor. Nothing more, nothing less.

(CB) So let me get this straight. You guess you are ready, you are just repaying me a favor? You really don't care if you win the titles or not?

(Andy D) Look, I agreed to help you win the titles, and I'll do that. That's me repaying that favor. But to be honest, I don't care if I walk out of this with the titles or not.

(CB) What is the matter with you man?! These tag team titles mean the world to me. I have been trying for 3 and a half YEARS to gain them here and this is probably my best opportunity. I don't know about you, but I'm stoked.

Andy just nods his head and shrugs his shoulders.

(Andy D) Yeah, I get you. But they mean the world to you, not to me. I'm not trying to burst your parade, but I'm a whatever happens, happens kind of guy. I will tell you though that you won't have to worry much about Snake... that I can guarantee.

(CB) Good deal... So you ready to discuss strategy?

(Andy D) Yeah, I guess.

(CB) There you go with the "I Guess" Again!!!

CB turns his back to the camera and nods his head and starts talking to Andy D as the scene fades out.



Thump



Cut backstage where Keith Owens is walking down the hall by himself. He is strolling at a rather brisk pace with a little bounce in his step. He’s probably excited to get to his locker room and get out of his suit and into his wrestling gear, for tonight, is a very very big night.

(Keith) Tonight is the night, that I not only do I become one half of the NAFW tag team champions… But I become a Grand… Slam...

Thump!

Keith has walked right into a brick wall. Not literally. But as he turned a corner, he encountered the one and only…


(Keith) Hush.

Keith backs up a step or two and looks up and down the monster.

(Keith) I didn’t know they stacked shit that high.

Hush lunges one step forward and Keith quickly backtracks about ten steps.

(Keith) You might be a big scary cat, but I’ve stepped in the ring with a lot of big scary cats. Stud Muffan. Arwel Jones. The Intruder. I’m not scared of you, Mr. Atlantic Champion. Tonight, I become the only active Grand Slam Champion in the company, and certainly the only one worth talking about… And you?

Keith continues to back away with just a hint of cowardice as Hush stands still, continuing to block the hallway.

(Keith) You’re just the wee little Atlantic Champion. Just remember you’re in MY hallway, freak!

Keith turns and begins to power walk down the hallway looking for an alternative route to his locker room. He mutters under his breath.

(Keith) Holy shit he’s huge!

That’s what she said.

The camera cuts back to the announce table, where JB and Tom are standing by.


(JB) Keith better watch what he says backstage. After the Last Man Standing match tonight, Hush could very well have a claim to a shot at that Foundation Heavyweight Championship, and its possible Keith could be holding it.

(Tom) Forget about Hush, what about the man standing in front of us in the ring?

The camera cuts to the ring where Frankie the Hamster is running from ring post to ring post, waving at all the children in attendance.

(JB) Frankie the Hamster? You think he’s championship material.

(Tom) Hardly, I just wanted to hear you say that.

(JB) Right… Well, Frankie has his work cut out for him tonight as we await the legendary Scott Rocker’s entrance here in Oakland.


The Born Warrior



The lights in the arena turn off and the crowd bustles with anticipation because when that shit happens you know some shit is going down. To be honest, some shit is about to go down, trust me. A heavy beat assaults the arena public address system as the words "The Born Warrior" appear on the NAFW-tron. The words disappear and images of an old NAFW face begin to flash across the screen. The man we see has blonde hair and a million dollar face and smile. The images we see flashing by are of the said wrestler getting pin-falls over the likes of Matthew Kurresh, knocking out Olin Clay with brass knuckles, delivering a double underhook piledriver to Crazy Boy, and appearing at the side of Hector Gonzalez dressed in an FLF t-shirt

(JB) Oh my god...

(Tom) It can't be! It can't be!

(JB) This is not Scott Rocker…

(Tom) This is definitely not Scott Rocker…

(JB) Is this who I think it is?

They say a family that prays together, stays together.
And one that walks apart just falls apart.
So, together we stand, divided we fall.
United, we form Voltron and take on all. Let’s move.


A spotlight shines down on the middle of the entrance way as a man dressed in a gold and black boxing robe arises from a powered lift. The man's face can not be seen due to the shadow being cast from the hood of the robe over his face. His hands and wrists are wrapped in white athletic tape and mid-top gold and black boxing shoes adorn his feet. The crowd's decibel level raises a couple notches and Tom is literally standing up out of his chair in shock.

(Tom) It is him, JB. It is really him!

Yes, the birds left the nest.
I’m all grown up I gotta fly with the rest.(uh huh)
Best of the best is what we strive to be. (Yeah).
A legacy is what we trying to leave.
Ya dig?


The man begins a quick paced march to the ring, wasting no time acknowledging the ravenous fans at ringside. He walks to the far set of stairs and walks up them very slowly and now methodically walks across the ring apron, grasping the top rope with his right hand to keep his balance he walks to the corner post he just walked past. He climbs up onto the turnbuckle with one foot on the top rope and the other on the second.

(JB) Ladies and Gentlemen, this is truly a surprise! I don't think any of us thought we would ever see this superstar again!

Now say goodbye to the past.(why?)
The future is here at last.(at last)
The second coming.(yea)
The new beginning.(yea)
The truth is speaking.(uh huh)
You should listen.
So glorious.
Victorious.
We take what we want we born warriors.


The lights in the arena slowly start to turn back on. As they do the man raises his hands up and lowers the hood on his boxing robe. He quickly pounds a closed fist against his chest three times before raising both his arms above his head.

(JB) By god, Ashley Collier is back in the North American Foundation of Wrestling!

Ashley hops into the ring from the corner and calls for a microphone from Troy Gilmore. Troy tosses the microphone to Ash and he catches it in his right hand. The crowd is in a full blown mark out frenzy because any time and old face shows his face in NAFW, it is kind of a big deal.

Frankie the Hamster still stands in the ring, as he was supposed to be facing Scott Rocker tonight. Collier walks up to Frankie and tells him to “Get the fuck out of my ring.” But the Hamster puts up some protest, which is met by several shots to the head with the microphone before he clotheslines Frankie over the top rope!


(Tom) So long Frankie!

(JB) It seems like Collier still hasn’t learned any good morals.

The crowd is going wild and Ashley lets them get all their cheering out which takes a good minute or two.

(Ashley) Well, well, well, look who is back in town.

The fans erupt into cheers. Collier has them eating right out of his palm and he has only uttered nine words.

(Ashley) Man, I really did miss this place. I mean, this is the NAFW! This is the elite of the elite! If you want to be the best god damned professional wrestler in the world, you come here!

Collier's "Mike" quality shilling is going over like blood in shark infested waters. The fans love this kind of shit.

(Ashley) And that is exactly why, I am back. I could have gone to other companies like Outlaw Pro Wrestling or The Legacy Tour, but I choose to stay where my heart is. I choose to stay in the NAFW. I choose to be one of the best.

Name dropping those other feds get a good portion of boo's from the NAFW faithful, but by the end of that little spiel the crowd is fully behind Collier, giving him their full support.

(Ashley) Now, I want to address everyone in the back. Everyone from Keith Owens to Snake to that little piece of shit, Crazy Boy to that over hyped muscle headed rookie freak Sebastian Hawke... you can all consider yourselves on notice. "The Born Warrior" Ashley Collier is back in town and I'm not going to be taking any prisoners. If you want to get in my path on the way to being the biggest superstar this company has ever seen, then so be it; however, I'm not going to show any one of you one iota of respect or remorse. You cross me, you call me out, fuck if you even look at me the wrong way...

The crowd knows what is coming and everyone is waiting for it. Of course, you have the few idiots who say it out of unison, but what can you do? Those fans are probably so shit faced right know they can't even see.

(Ashley) You're going to get KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT!

With Collier's famous catch phrase echoing through the halls of Oracle Arena, "The Born Warrior" drops his microphone and climbs out of the ring. He then proceeds to jump the barricade and exit via the crowd.

(JB) My god Bear, we have just started and Death Wish is already off to a ruckus start!

(Tom) Shut it, JB, I am too ecstatic about Collier's return for you to bring me down right now.


Shining Up A Classic



The scene opens up to show a shot of Wilson's victory over Crazy Boy from just over 2 weeks ago. Some of the crowd is heard in the background chuckling, some booing, but each fan making it known how they feel about what had happened. Suddenly, a hand comes across the picture with a rag.

Ah...Tonight's the night, Wilson.

The camera pans back as we see Snake giving the picture a good cleaning. Wilson is sitting to the left side of the picture, whilst Snake is on the right with a bottle of Windex in one hand, and a rag in the other.

(Snake) Tonight, we make two things known, not just to Tyrone, but to the world...

Snake squirts the bottle of Windex and quickly goes to work with the rag.

(Snake) ...One...That Tyrone was in fact, as this picture proves, the weak link in the tag team. I've had success in the tag divisions of other federations before, but the NAFW...The NAFW is the best of the best...And Tyrone never realised, and to this day, still fails to realise is what we could've accomplished had he not been making a fool of himself and making a mockery of the Xtreme Division.

Another squirt from the bottle, and a another quick wipe with the rag.

(Snake) Two...what the term "humiliation" is all about. Tyrone hasn't seen the type of humiliation that we're going to dish out...And when we win the Three Wishes match later tonight, and I become the Foundation Champion, not only will I be a double champion, but I did it without that baffoon, Tyrone, by my side to hold me down, and Tyrone will finally be humiliated and embarassed that he'll realise who the weak link really was.

And another squirt and wipe...That is, until Snake puts the two items on a nearby table, picks up Wilson and puts him under his arm, grabs the picture with his free hand, and gives off a small chuckle before speaking again.

(Snake) After we win the match, i'm taking you out to an oxygen bar to celebrate. I mean, we're going to need alot of oxygen with the high we'll be on as we sit at the top of the mountain!

And with that, Snake walks out of the locker room with Wilson and the picture in tow as the scene comes to a close.


It's On


We're outside of the Crew's locker room where there sits a man wielding a very big stick. Yes, this is a gold stick with many, many layers of barb wire at the top of it. He's got earplugs in his ear as he listens to his IPod, styling his old school Warriors jersey and gold and black fatigues with some rather nasty steel toed boots on. As the camera gets a little closer while Amie Carmichael approaches The Reaper, you can hear a lot of grunting and what have you from behind the door. Not to mention a very loud, deliberate thumping up against the door.

(Amie) Leonard?

The Reaper doesn't hear her at first, he's just singing along with his music.

## I still don't have the reason ##
## And you don't have the time ##
## And it really makes me wonder ##
## If I ever gave a fuck about you ##


It's not until Amie taps Leonard on his shoulder that he snaps out of it, obviously into singing "Makes Me Wonder" by Maroon 5 that he notices the lovely interviewer standing over him. He removes the earplugs from his ears, placing them on the floor as he looks up flashing that smile of his that makes the women turn into butter.

(Amie) Leonard, tonight you and your cousin are going to be going after the vacated NAFW Tag Team...

"OH GOD BRING IT HARDER!!!"

Leonard gives the traditional 'wait a second' motion with his right hand before he mule kicks the door three times, as the noise starts to fade further away from the immediate earshot of the camera's mic and the people at home.

(The Reaper) Sorry about that, got standards and stuff to uphold ya know? Continue.

(Amie) Tonight, The Destruction Crew will be going after the NAFW Tag Team Championships and the Foundation Heavyweight Championship in your first ever Three Wishes match. Can you give us any...

(The Reaper) Insight as to what's going through my mind right now? Is my heart running a mile a minute? Are my palms sweaty? To know that tonight could be the night that I put my name alongside the likes of Stud Muffan and...wait a second. What the hell is a Stud Muffan?

Just as Amie starts to answer, The Reaper shakes his head from side to side while smirking just a little.

(The Reaper) Never mind. Anyway, tonight TDC will put its name in the record books as the first team in the modern era of NAFW to hold both the Foundation Heavyweight and Tag Team titles at the same time. Tonight, the world will bare witness to the start of the Destructive Takeover of NAFW.

(Amie) Well there were a lot of people who were disputing your claims earlier in the week in some of your promotional videos. First there was Mike Lane who...

(The Reaper) Confirmed every word and syllable of what I said by trying to convince me, the world and himself that he's got what it takes to climb the ladder and recapture the Foundation Heavyweight Title. He tried to tell us that despite the tomfoolery and everything else, they still matter and the fact is, they don't. Mike, you still never answered my question as to why you weren't the guy that Commish Buchanan picked to go at Cunning first but then again, judging by your response to my question and your actions since...I guess you did. Never mind.

Ouchers. That's just mean.

(Amie) Well, Snake doesn't appreciate the fact that you threatened Wilson and he's set on making you...

(The Reaper) Pliskin?

(Amie) No, just Snake. The guy with the mask who carries the...

(The Reaper) Volleyball he probably stole from a YMCA or something. Look Lizard, I don't know what kind of drugs or whatever you're taking that makes you think I'm gonna end up like Johnny Whatshisname or JaZon WhoGivesACrap, but I'm The Reaper. The man who ended the record setting reign of Charles Johnson as United States Champion is the man who's got Trevor Cunning running scared out of his mind right now. I mean, did you see how he casually left the Foundation Heavyweight Championship at a bar as if it were some kind of tip?

(Amie) I’m not one to judge.

(The Reaper) Is that the kind of champion that we need here at NAFW? Someone who cares so much about the title he leaves it for the first piece of ass that will spread em' for him? Well Trev, fret not for tonight I'm gonna lighten your load by about 15 pounds. Tonight, I'm gonna grab that title and I will walk away the Foundation Heavyweight Champion. You've run from me for too long now and simply put, I can't think of one great, good or otherwise reason you're better than me. The only thing you've really proven is that you can find ways for people to either win matches for you or just not get beaten long enough for time to save your ass. Tonight, neither of those will be a factor for you. You want to prove you are the man you want us all to believe you are? Prove it by climbing that ladder and getting it.

(Amie) What about your cousin? I mean, why isn't he...

(The Reaper) He and his wife are getting ready as we speak. The bottom line here is this. The Crew's not taking any prisoners tonight, because corpses don't make good prisoners. We're leaving food for the maggots and simply put gentlemen, all of you are on the buffet list. Tonight, all of you will see that fucking with the Crew will ensure that your ass is through.

(Amie) Back to you guys at the table.

The camera cuts back to the table where once more, JB and Mann are doing their jobs.

(JB) Thanks for that interview Amy. Up next is the long awaited battle for the Atlantic Championship.

(Tom) And up next, Mike Stryker will be taking his second trip to the hospital after tangoing with Hush.

(JB) But if Stryker reclaims his title, he’ll get five minutes in the ring with Hush’s keeper Essex!


Mike Stryker vs. Hush (AC)
Last Man Standing Match
If Stryker wins, he gets 5 minutes alone in the ring with Aleister Essex
Atlantic Championship




(Troy) Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is for the ATLANTIC HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP and will be a LAST MAN STANDING MATCH!!!

A clusterfuck of drum and bass Begin to thunder and all of the lights in the arena mysteriously tint to a sickly shade of gray, as Trent Reznor's voice pierces through the boos and jeers from the crowd, reciting the lyrics to his song "The Line Begins to Blur”.

A video trailer featuring a mammoth-sized individual sporting a leather trenchcoat rolls on the ol' NAFWTron, as the lights outlining the screen begin flashing blindingly white lights.

The 6-foot-eleven-inch monstrosity with but one name, Hush, stepped out and through the NAFW curtains, basically blowing them backwards with his imposing size as he makes his way to the top of the entry ramp. Hush is not alone., as he accompanied by Aliester Essex. Hush, masked, dressed in black wrestling tights, a black tank-top, and a leather trenchcoat, pauses with his manager at the top of the ramp, met with the reaction of the crowd.


(JB) Aliester Essex looks positively terrified right now

(Tom) He’s about to be locked up in a cage like an animal, what’s he supposed to look like?

(JB) I think he’s more worried about what could happen when he’s let out of that cage than about being locked up inside of it.

(Tom) Well he shouldn’t be, because Hush won’t lose this match. Look at him, he’s primed and focused, walking in proudly as your Atlantic Champion.

(JB) Hush has not defended his title since winning it at Last Rites from Stryker, and Stryker also hasn’t seen any action since that match. This match has been a long time in the making mainly due to Stryker’s injuries-

(Tom) You mean the injures from Hush owning him over and over again?

(JB) Yes, those injuries. Either way, in all this time that they’ve been after each other, this is only their 3rd match, and I’d say it’s the first true one on one contest. Aliester Essex has been a MAJOR factor in both of Hush’s wins over Stryker, and tonight he will be removed from the equation.

(Tom) And Stryker, God bless the boy, is walking into a ring with that monster and without medical clearance. It’s insanity.

Essex and Hush stand center ring as referee James Elbourn motions to the cage sitting center ring. Essex resists at first, demanding to not go it. After some brief words between the two Essex relents, possibly to threat of a forfeit. He reluctantly sets foot inside the small shark cage, cringing as the door is locked behind him. The crowd lets out a small cheer as the cage begins to raise into the air and Essex grabs hold of a side for support. The cage goes up over the center of the ring, a littrle bit higher than a title belt would for a ladder match. As Essex stops being raised, the crowd begins to buzz, the anticipation of the match is palpable.

(JB) Hold on Bear, this place is about to go insane.

(Tom) Even I’m kind of excited Mann-itoba, and I can’t stand Stryker normally.

The house lights go down as the crowd buzz increases, and it’s intensity reaches fever pitch as “Til I Collapse” by Eminem begins to thump through the arena along with the familiar NAFWtron of various images of New York City.

(Troy) And his opponent, weighing in at 227 lbs and hailing from New York, NY….

MIIIIIIIKE STRRRYYYYYYYKERRRRRRRR!!!!

YO LEFT, YO LEFT, YO LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT
YO LEFT, YO LEFT, YO LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT


The lines repeat in the background through the rest of the intro…

Cause sometimes you just feel tired.
You feel weak and when you feel weak you feel like you wanna just give up.
But you gotta search within you, you gotta find that inner strength
and just pull that shit out of you and get that motivation to not give up
and not be a quitter, no matter how bad you wanna just fall flat on your face and collapse.


The song kicks in as the lights come back up and the crowd explodes in cheers as Mike Stryker comes storming out of the back. He stops at the top of the ramp and absorbs the reaction, bouncing on the balls of his feet. He flips the hood of his sweatshirt off and goes to one side of the stage, arms raised as the crowd, which reacts in kind as Stryker pounds his chest and points up. He walks with purpose to the other side of the stage and repeats the act to another cheer.

(JB) This arena has come absolutely unglued!! Stryker is as intense as we’ve ever seen him!! He’s been dying for this and now he has it!!

Stryker gets back to the top of the ramp and stares daggers at the ring and his opponent, Hush. He slowly begins to march down the ramp, removing his sweatshirt as he goes.

Till I collapse I'm spilling these raps long as you feel em
Till the day that I drop you'll never say that I'm not killing them
Cause when I am not then I am stop pinning them
And I am not hip-hop and I'm just not Eminem.
Subliminal thoughts when I'm stop sending them women are caught in webs spin and hauk venom
Adrenaline shots of penicillin could not get the illing to stop. Amoxacilin is just not real
enough.
The criminal cop killing hip-hop filling minimal swap to cop millions of Pac listeners.
Your coming with me, feel it or not you're gonna fear it like I showed you the spirit of god
lives in us.
You hear it a lot, lyrics the shock is it a miracle or am I just a product of pop fizzing up.
For shizzle my whizzle this is the plot listen up you pizzles forgot slizzle does not give a
fuck.

Till the roof comes off, till the lights go out
Till my legs give out, can't shut my mouth.
Till the smoke clears out and my high wear out
I'ma rip this shit till my bone collapse.
Till the roof comes off, till the lights go out
Till my legs give out, can't shut my mouth.
Till the smoke clears out and my high wear out
I'ma rip this shit till my bone collapse.


Stryker gets to the ring and hops up onto the apron, looking up away from Hush and chuckling at Essex. As he steps through the ropes he raises his arms to another wave of cheers and immediately snaps his gaze back onto Hush. He backs up into his corner, bouncing, waiting like a caged animal. Hush simply stands tall in his corner through all of this, waiting for his chance to attack.

(Tom) This is going to be an absolute war

(JB) I couldn’t agree more.

DING!!

The bell goes off and both men immediately charge to the middle of the ring. Stryker ducks a wild swing from Hush and fires off a couple right hands. He ducks another and lands some more shots. Hush tries and misses again, and Stryker comes off the ropes at him, ducking a clothesline and running through, nailing a ferocious flying forearm on the monster and knocking him out of the ring.


(JB) STRYKER COMES OUT DEALING!!

Hush Immediately hops up onto the apron in frustration, only to eat a dropkick from the challenger, knocking him back on the floor.

(Tom) LOOK OUT!!

Stryker, wasting no time, backs up and charges, throwing himself through the second and third ropes with a suicide dive, knocking the champion back and off his feet. Stryker pops up to a roar from the Oakland crowd, staring into the rafters.

(JB) STRYKER WILL NOT BE DENIED!!

Hush gets up and charges, only to have Stryker evade and send Hush stumbling into the ringpost and down.

(Tom) Hush misses Essex right now, who’s screaming from the cage to get his man to stop coming forward and regroup. Stryker’s flying on emotion right now and Hush should wait him out.

Stryker rolls himself back into the ring and heads to the ropes, looking to slingshot himself over for a pescado, but Hush sees him coming and catches him like a rag doll.

(JB) Uhoh…

Hush charges and sends Stryker into the same ringpost, killing all his momentum in one shot. Stryker screams and drops, making it back up to a knee quickly, which allows Hush to charge and kick him right on the head.

(Tom) Right after that weak spot. Stryker had a concussion last month and still isn’t clear and Hush knows it.

Hush pick up Stryker and rolls him into the ring. He hops onto the apron and slowly follows him in.

(JB) Hush slows is down, and Essex finally seems to have relaxed a little up there as Hush puts the boots to Stryker.

(Tom) Stryker came out swinging and looking great, but all it took was one move and Hush gains the edge. I don’t know what Stryker can do to get this back.

Hush litfs Stryker and whips him to the opposite buckles, following and charging in with a smothering avalanche. He whips him back across and repeats the move as Stryker slumps, faraway stare intact. Hush stands over Stryker and holds him up, enjoying this immensely as Essex screams “again!” over and over. Hush follows suit and whips Stryker across, letting out a primal scream before coming across a third time.

(JB) HE MISSED!!

Stryker bounces out of the corner and turns around to deliver some more rights into Hush. He backs up and charges, but as he comes in, Hush gets a foot up and drills him with a boot. Hush then comes out of the corner and lays a kick into Stryker’s ribs. Hush again slows the pace down as he lifts Stryker up and whips him across, delivering a monster spinning spinebuster. Stryker stays down, although he’s mobile enough that the ref does not begin to count. Hush doesn’t give him much time as he heads back over to Stryker and lifts him up in a bearhug.

(Tom) This will take it’s toll, it won’t win the match, but it won’t help Stryker’s chances.

(JB) No it won’t Bear. Hush has regained control and now knows enough to wear stryker down, it’s all high impact.

Stryker lets out a scream of pain as Hush cinches up on the bearhug. In desperation, Stryker straightens up and tries to get off a couple right hands, which earns him another cinch and wail. Stryker straightens up again, only this time he simply drives his thumb into Hush’s masked eye.

(Tom) Cheater!!

(JB) It’s all legal tonight Bear.

Hush finally lets the hold go and Stryker backs up to recover. Hush shakes off the blindness and charges, only to eat a superkick, knocking him backwards. Stryker smothers him into a corner and mounts him, delivering rights as the crowd comes alive again. Hush shoves him off, but Stryker comes right back and mounts again. Hush shoves him off again, and Stryker walks right back up to him and lands a stiff chop, eliciting the traditional WHOOOO from the arena. He lands a couple boots to the gut and pulls Hush to the center of the ring, cinching him up for a t-bone suplex.

(Tom) NO WAY!!

Stryker locks it in and goes to lift Hush, only to eat an elbow from the big man, knocking him over. Hush follows up with a running clothesline, and Stryker is again down. We get a count from the ref, but Stryker stirs and is up by 4. Hush, meanwhile, has raised the stakes.

(JB) He’s got a chair!!

(Tom) It’s all legal tonight, mann-ory gland.

Hush slides into the ring and-

CRACK!

Drills Stryker, knocking him down and out. We have our first real count as the referee gets to 2 before Stryker so much as flinches. At 4, he begins to sit up, but falls back holding his head.


(Tom) He’s still hurt! That faraway look in his eyes tells it all!

(JB) You might be right…I hate to say it, but you might be right.

Stryker, at 6 makes another attempt but laies down, taking a deep breath….

7….nothing

Hush looks matter of fact as the count goes on, barely responding to his fallen foe.

At 8…..


(JB) KICK UP!!

Stryker explodes onto his feet with a kick up and charges, both men go falling through the ropes, exchanging punches. Stryker lands some shots but Hush overpowers him again with a knee to the stomach before tossing him back into the ring. He goes to follow but a screaming Essex from high above stops him. Hush seems to understand quickly and he dives under the ring for…

(Tom) Table!!

Hush quickly sets up the table on the floor and rolls back into the ring where Stryker in on a knee recovering. Hush lifts him up and hits a couple shots for good measure before grabbing him by the scruff of the neck and looking across the ring at the table on the floor.

(JB) Hush is looking to make a statement here!

Hush runs and tosses Stryker over the top rope with authority, but Stryker, through desperation, is able to grab the top rope and land himself on the apron. Hush turns to see and is not amused. He comes flying in with a forearm to the face, which knocks Stryker back but he manages to keep his grip. Hush rears back and lands another right hand, Stryker barely holding on as the crowd gasps with each shot. A third strike sends him reeling but he’s able to grab out and once again hold the rope as Hush takes a few steps back. Hush charges looking to send Stryker flying back but Stryker bails himself out with a well timed shoulder to Hush’s midsection.

(JB) Stryker may have averted disaster there as he gets back into the ring.

Stryker comes back into the ring and lands a dropkick to the leg of Hush, immobilizing the big man. He looks to his left at the chair that knocked him down a mere few minutes before.

(Tom) Mann….that’s a look of bad intentions.

Stryker walks over to the chair and picks it up, holding it high to a roar from the crowd. He turns-

(Tom) Clothesline!!

(JB) DUCKED!!

Hush misses and when he turns himself around-

CRACK!!

Stryker drills him in the head as the crowd explodes and Hush wobbles-

CRACK!!

Stryker hits him again and gets a step back and more staggering.


(JB) Hush won’t go down!!

CRACK!!

CRACK!!

CRACK!!

Stryker unleashes the fury with more chair shots that drive Hush back but not down. Stryker steps back and goes low-

CRACK!!

-nailing Hush in the leg and finally dropping the beast to a knee. He steps back and-

CRACK!!

Crosses Hush’s eyes with one more vicious chair shot…Hush tilts to the side and…..


(JB) HE TOOK HIM DOWN!!

Stryker drops the chair and stumbles back into the ropes, taking deep breaths as Hush stays down and the count begins. The crowd counts along, but they only get to 4 by the time Hush gets himself to a knee, stopping the count. Stryker bears down on the ropes waiting for Hush to get up. As Hush rises Stryker comes across and-

(JB) JESUS!!

Hush nearly takes his head clean off with a clothesline. Stryker lays on the mat in a heap as the Ref walks up to administer his count. Essex screams down to get Hush’s attention. The count is 3 as Stryker begins to pull himself up by the ropes.

(Tom) What the hell is that?

Essex kneels down and slips something through the grated floor of the cage into Hush’s waiting hands.

(JB) Oh no….OH NO!!

Hush looks in his hands at what Essex dropped and holds up a 4 foot length of steel chain. The crowd boos as Hush wraps the chain around his right hand and waits for Stryker to get himself up.

(JB) Essex did it again!! He got himself involved!!

(Tom) He’s the smartest man in wrestling. He’s always got one more trick up his sleeve.

Stryker staggers to his feet, back turned to Hush. The crowd pleads and screams for Stryker to realize what’s behind him. Stryker looks up, confused, and stumbles back right into Hush’s waiting fist. Hush rears back and plants his chained fist right between the eyes, dropping Stryker like a bag of dirt. Stryker head busts open and blood begins to flow down his face as he lies unconscious. Hush backs up as the count begins.

1…..




2……..



3……..


(JB) Come on Mike!! Get up!!

(Tom) He’s a bloody mess, this could be it.

4…………..


5………….


6………….


Stryker rolls onto his side and gets a hand on the ropes.


7……………


The crowd starts to clamor as Stryker starts to pull himself up by the ropes.

8…………….


With a heave-


(JB) HE’S UP!!!

(Tom) He really has a death wish.

Stryker gets up long enough to break the count but drops back to a knee quickly, trying to get his composure. Hush has no designs on a break though and walks right up to Stryker. Bad move.

(Tom) LOW BLOW!!

Stryker uppercuts Hush and catches him right where he needs to. Hush drops the chain and hits the mat hard. Stryker slumps, taking a chance to recover as Hush is immobilized. As Hush rolls himself over and begins to get up, Stryker kicks into gear and goes right after the chain. He staggers himself up as Hush gets to a knee. Stryker gets behind Hush with the chain in hand and-

(JB) Stryker’s got that chain around Hush’s throat!!

Stryker wraps and pulls the chain, choking Hush and pulling for all he’s worth. Hush’s arms swing wildly as the crowd goes crazy and Stryker lets out a scream, putting all that he has into trying to choke out the beast.

(Tom) Hush is Fading!!

(JB) NO….he’s NOT!!

Hush stands and starts walking forward a few steps trying to get away, but Stryker hangs on. Hush tries to quickly back up…which becomes the worst idea possible.

(JB) My LORD!!

Stryker moves with him until they get to the ropes, at which point Stryker sidesteps Hush and throws him over the top rope, holding the chain and hanging the beast.

(Tom) Stryker’s trying to kill him!!

(JB) He’s doing what he said he would…whatever it takes!

The crowd is going ballistic as Stryker leans himself back with all he’s got, holding the monster’s feet just off the floor. He screams and the blood pours down his face as Hush finally begins to slow down his thrashing. Hush’s neck is bruised and purple as Stryker’s body finally gives out. Stryker collapses on the mat as Hush collapses to the floor.

(JB) Both men down and the count will begin!!

1…

2…

3…

4…

Stryker picks his head up and starts to push himself upright. Hush remains down in a heap on the floor.

5…

6…

7…


(JB) Stryker is up!!

(Tom) My God, Hush is moving!!

8…

Hush gets himself up on all fours as the crowd screams in anticipation.

9…


(JB) TEN!!

(Tom) NO!!!

(JB) It’s waved off!!

Hush stands, leaning on the apron, but up with a split second to spare. Stryker heads outside and heaves Hush back under the ropes. He, however, goes diving under the ring for more toys.

(Tom) Well…it’s is Death Wish…and with that is the biggest ladder match of the year. So…why not get a ladder?

Stryker, indeed, produces a ladder from under the ring to the approving roar of the crowd. He slides the ladder into the ring and follows as Hush is getting himself up.

(JB) LOOK OUT!!

Stryker takes the ladder and, with a couple steps, simply flings it into the skull of Hush. The ladder bounces away and Hush falls, catching himself in the ropes, dazed. Stryker slides outside and retrieves the infamous chain from the floor. As he gets in, Hush shakes it off and charges with the big boot-

(JB) MISSED IT!!

Hush straddles the ropes in pain as Stryker takes full advantage, this time using the chain as a restraint, wrapping hush’s arm up to the top rope. Stryker, moving quickly, heads to the timekeepers table and grabs the Atlantic title belt.

(Tom) Why not?

Stryker slides into the ring as the ref gets Hush free. Hush steps himself back into the ring, just in time to eat a flying shot to the head with his own title belt. A spot of red seeps around his mask as he stumbles back into a corner. Stryker charges, flying himself into the corner as he’s done time and time again tonight, but this time Hush catches him, spins him around, and sits him on the top buckle. Hush climbs up, thinking superplex.

(JB) Hush is looking for a big shot right here.

(Tom) Stryker won’t go quietly!!

Stryker starts throwing desperation fists at Hush’s midsection. He slows the big man down enough to land a few shots to his bloody mask. Stryker rears back and shoves with everything he can-

(JB) HUSH IS DOWN!!

(Tom) STRYKER IS CLIMBING!!

Stryker steps himself up to the top rope, waiting to balance himself, exhausted. He gets his bearings looks down at his prey-

(JB) STRYKER TAKES FLIGHT!!

Stryker gets some serious air for a picture perfect elbowdrop, cocking his arm at the height of the jump, and hurtling back to the mat-

(Tom) NOBODY HOME!!

Hush rolls out of the way as Stryker comes down and meets nothing but canvas. Both men are down and the count begins.

1…


2…


3…


4…


5…

Hush and Stryker crawl, simultaneously to opposite sides of the ring, and pull themselves up before any real danger of a countout. Hush marches over and swings, but Stryker blocks it and lands a right hand of his own. Hush tries again, and again he’s blocked and eats a fist from the challenger. Hush mauls Stryker with a knee to the gut to quell the rally. Hush pulls Stryker in and decimates him with a short clothesline. Hush looks down as Stryker immediately starts fighting his way back to his feet, the thought of frustration is evident. He looks at the ropes….and steps outside.


(JB) What the….no….NO!!

Hush starts climbing the buckles slowly as Essex pleads for him not to go up top from above.

(Tom) He looks absolutely unsteady, this is not what he should be doing.

Stryker sits up and sees Hush steadily climbing and springs into action instinctively. He gets a good shot in on Hush before he gets to the top rope and slows him up. Another shot for good measure allows Stryker to step outside and climb the other side of the buckle.

(JB) Stryker going toe to toe!!

Stryker rears back and fires, knocking Hush back but Hush hangs on and returns fire. Stryker tilts back but grabs the rope support. Hush hits another right and Stryker almost goes, losing his balance but holding on for dear life.

(Tom) Too close. Someone’s going to get hurt here.

Hush lands another right and Stryker again teeters as the crowd gasps. Stryker gets his balance back and fires, landing a right hand and staggering the monster. Stryker throws a forearm, and another, and this time Hush staggers and the crowd gasps again. Hush stays up, but he comes back and Stryker hits him in the stomach, doubling him over. Stryker looks over Hush…

And sees the table that was set up by Hush long before they got here.


(JB) SUNSET FLIP!!

(Tom) POWERBOMB!!!

CRASH!!!

(JB) STRYKER FLIPPED OVER HUSH AND PULLED HIM FROM THE ROPES THROUGH A TABLE ON THE FLOOR!! THIS BUILDING IS GOING INSANE!!

HOLY SHIT!!

HOLY SHIT!!

HOLY SHIT!!

HOLY SHIT!!

The chant continues as Stryker sits, absolutely on empty, on the apron, and Hush lies in a pile of splintered wood, twisted and bleeding through his mask. Stryker stands as the ref begins his count. The entire arena counts along…

ONE!!!


TWO!!!


THREE!!!


FOUR!!!


FIVE!!!


SIX!!!


SEVEN!!!

Hush begins to roll himself over….the crowd buzzes, trying to will him back down as he gets to his stomach and gets a knee under him.

EIGHT!!!

Hush raises himself to one knee, then both….then a foot plants itself….

NINE!!!

Hush raises his torso and staggers to lift himself


(JB) TE…..OH MY GOD!!! HE’S UP!!!

Hush stands, barely, as Stryker stands in the ring in stunned silence. He’s joined by a sold out Oracle Arena as Hush tries to steady himself. Stryker looks through dried blood and stringed hair at Hush with what can only be described as pure evil. He leaves the ring and shoves Hush into the ringpost, knocking him back down. He doesn’t allow a count as he mounts Hush and rains down punches to his masked face.

(JB) STRYKER HAS LOST IT!!

Stryker gets up, turns the corner and goes under the apron of the ring by the aisle, pulling out one table, then another. Hush is sitting up, trying to recover, as Stryker goes to work setting up one table. He moves quickly, a ball of emotion and adrenaline, and gets the other table set up right behind it. He goes back to Hush, who’s made it back to his knee again, and kicks him squarely in the gut. He grabs Hush by the back of the head and guides him towards the tables. Hush, in his own fit of desperation overpowers Stryker, driving him into the Ringpost.

(Tom) HUSH WILL NOT DIE!! BOTH OF THESE MEN HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING LEFT, BUT NEITHER ONE WILL STOP FIGHTING!!

Hush slides back into the ring as Stryker gets back to his feet and follows him in. Hush attacks immediately, sending Stryker into a corner, he goes to whip Stryker across the ring. Stryker plants himself to reverse, but Hush is too strong and sends Stryker back into the corner he came from…

…the corner that Elbourn moved into to get out of the action.

Stryker hits Elbourn and mashes him into the corner. The older official seems to take this surprisingly well as he stays on his feet.


(JB) LOOK OUT!!

Elbourn does not take Hush’s avalanche on both of them well as he crumbles to the mat. Stryker stumbles away, and right into Hush.

(JB) Kick to the gut!! HUSH HAS STRYKER UP!!

Hush hoists Stryker to his shoulders, Canadian backbreaker style…

(Tom) DEAFENING SILENCE!!!

Hush drills Stryker to the mat with his finisher, right into the chair that’s been sitting there for 2/3rds of the match.

(JB) STRYKER IS DONE!! HE TOOK THAT FULL FORCE RIGHT ON THAT CHAIR!! HUSH STANDS TALL!!

(Tom) I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!!

Hush stands proudly over his beaten foe, waiting for the count….

….the count that won’t be coming anytime soon because James Elbourn is still down.

Essex screams to Hush from the cage, repeatedly asking him for something.


(JB) What is he saying?

(Tom) I don’t know, he keeps pointing at Elbourn.

(JB) THE KEYS!!

Indeed Essex wants the kets to the cage he’s locked in. Stryker is still motionless, Elbourn isn’t much better. Hush goes to the ref and searches him, quickly locating his prize in a pants pocket. Essex gets Hush’s attention again, this time pointing down at-

(JB) THE LADDER!! ESSEX WANTS OUT!!!

(Tom) HE WANTS A PIECE OF STRYKER TOO!!

Hush grabs the ladder and quickly sets it up in the middle of the ring. Essex tells Hush to climb up and unlock the cage. Hush sighs, exhausted, and looks over at Stryker, who’s still not moving.

Hush takes a step…and another. Essex salivates at the prospects of freedom as Hush gets one step closer…

Stryker rolls himself over…

Hush takes another step….

Stryker grabs the bottom rope….

Hush climbs…

Stryker pulls…

Hush reaches his goal as Stryker pulls himself up, leaning on the ropes to support himself.


(JB) THE DOOR IS UNLOCKED!!

Hush begins to climb down with Essex close behind.

(Tom) STRYKER!!

Stryker looks up and sees Hush and Essex on the ladder. With every last bit of energy in his soul he stumbles himself over towards the ladder. He reaches to opposite side as Essex takes his first step, Hush still high up. Both men see him and freeze as he smiles a blood stained smile.

(JB) MY GOD….NO!!!!!

Stryker lifts the bottom of his side of the ladder, tilting the duo backwards. Essex scampers and grabs the grated floor of the cage, hanging on for dear life.

Hush is not so lucky.


(Tom) LOOK OUT!!

CRAAAASH!!!

(JB) THIS PLACE HAS COME COMPLETELY UNGLUED!!!

Hush lies in a pile of wood that used to be the two tables that sat by the aisle. Essex holds onto the cage with all his might. Stryker falls backwards into the ropes, spent, nothing more to give.

Elbourn lifts his head. Stryker falls by his side to a knee, shaking and pleading, pointing up the aisleway.


(JB) COME ON!!! COUNT!!! HUSH IS DOWN!! HE’S NOT MOVING!!

Elbourn stumbles to his feet with Stryker’s help, and makes his way across the ring. He sees what’s happened, and while leaning on the ropes, makes a groggy count…

ONE!!!


TWO!!!


THREE!!!


FOUR!!!


FIVE!!!


(JB) HUSH ISN’T MOVING!!

SIX!!!

SEVEN!!!

EIGHT!!!


(Tom) HE’S SITTING UP!!

NINE!!!

(JB) HE’S NOT GOING TO MAKE IT!!

Hush tries to raise himself up one more time…

TEN!!!

DINGDINGDING!!!!!


(JB) HE DID IT!!! SOMEHOW, SOME WAY!!! MIKE STRYKER HAS VANQUISHED THE MONSTER!!

(Tom) I can’t believe it. How did he do it?!?

Stryker falls down to a knee, completely exhausted as the arena goes ballistic, rocking with cheers as Stryker is handed the Atlantic title.

(Troy) Your Winner….annnd…..NEWWWWWWWW!!! ATLANTIC CHAMPION!!!!!

MIIIIIIIIIKE!!!! STRRRRYYYYKERRRRRRRR!!!!!!




This Won't Take Five Minutes.



(Tom) He’s the craziest son of a bitch I’ve ever seen.

(JB) That’s your new champion Bear!! Hell or High water did not stop him!!

Stryker stands by the ropes, holding up his title, about to leave…when it occurs to him….

He’s not done.

The cage begins to lower and the crowd keeps it’s cheer going as a petrified Aliester Essex hangs from the cage. Stryker drops his belt and waits, licking his chops.


(JB) Essex might soil himself. Hush is down and can’t help anymore. Stryker stands tall, a bloody, broken mess, but he’ll find it in himself to take care of this one last matter.

(Tom) This isn’t fair. What did Essex do?

(JB) He tried to end Stryker’s career Bear.

(Tom) Besides that?


Essex reaches the mat and Stryker wastes no time, grabbing his lapels and driving him to the corner. Essex begs and wails for mercy as Stryker stares him down. Essex winces as Stryker stands him up and…

(JB) Offers a handshake?

Essex is dumbfounded trying to figure out Stryker’s next move as Stryker stands, smirking, hand extended. He nods as if to say “no hard feelings”. Essex hesitates, but offers his hand back. They shake…

(JB) STRYKER WITH A KICK TO THE GUT!!

The Crowd delights as Stryker doubles over Essex and jumps into attack mode, lifting him for a piledriver…but not just any piledriver….

(Tom) PARADIGM SHIFT!!

Stryker drops Essex once, rolls through to drop him on his head again. The crowd cheers with each piledriver. Stryker gets up with Essex for #3 when he stops, looks up, and smiles. Essex is lifted high and driven into the mat with a vicious powerbomb. He lays in a heap as Stryker stands over him and the crowd cheers him on.

(Tom) This is enough!

(JB) You think he’s done?

Stryker grabs Essex’s carcass and drags him across the ring to the ropes where Hush still lies recovering. Stryker takes a step and tosses Essex over the ropes, where he lands squarely by the side of his protégé in the remains of the tables.

The crowd explodes as Stryker goes back to his belt, raising it high for all the world to see, as “Til I collapse” by Eminem thumps through the arena.


(JB) Mike Stryker, bloodied, battered, and beaten, stands tall, alone in the ring, holding his Atlantic title once again!!



Are You Ready?



The camera cuts into the Trust Fund Kids locker room. Trevor sits with his wrestling singlet not yet pulled over his torso, applying wrist tape to his wrists. To the left of him on the bench are two polo shirts with the collars pre-popped and on to the right, a bottle of Tennessee’s finest: Jack Daniels. On his shoulder sits the Foundation Heavyweight Championship.

Across the room, Melissa is staring into the mirror applying makeup while Keith finishes lacing up his boots. The Difference Maker rises from his seat, ready to go for the Three Wishes match, and heads for the door.


(Cunning) Where do you think you’re going? Our match isn’t up yet.

(Keith) Can’t a guy go stretch out?

(Cunning) I guess you can since Hush isn’t out there anymore.

(Keith) You’re a real funny guy. Have you ever considered stand-up as a career?

(Cunning) Ha. Very funny.

Trevor bites his wrist tape to tear it off the roll and finishes sticking it together.

(Cunning) Joking aside, are you ready for tonight?

Keith gives his signature shit eating grin and pats Trevor on the shoulder.

(Keith) The question is, are you ready?

Keith slowly lifts his hand off Cunning’s Foundation Heavyweight Championship before strolling out of the room, leaving Cunning staring at the gold on his shoulder.

Cut.




Charles Johnson vs. Sebastian Hawke



“Miseria Cantare” by AFI slowly fades onto the arena’s sound system. The low music continues to play as various pictures, and small clips of Johnson’s career flashes over the Tron. When the first bit of vocals are heard, Charles walks out on the ramp looking down at the ring. Making his way down to the ring he walks up the ring steps, and into the ring. Bouncing around the ring before focusing in on the match ahead. The last big of the song fades as he awaits the his opponent.

"I'm The One" begins blasting out the speakers of the NAFW-Tron, as Sebastian Hawke walks out onto the stage, underneath the NAFW-Tron itself. He adjusts his wrist tape before looking out to the crowd. He slowly walks down the ramp to the ring, staring at the ring as he does. He passes by a few fans, who are waving their hands at him trying to get a high-five, but he ignores them, as he walks down to the ring. He comes up to the apron, walking over to the stairs and escalating them. He walks along the apron, facing the crowd as he stares out at them, before turning around to get into the ring.


(JB) For a match with nothing on the line, everything is on the line for these two men.

(Tom) And what does that mean?

(JB) It means both these men can either be hot or cold. Sebastian Hawke looked to be the NAFW’s latest rookie sensation at Ultimate Showdown, then got sidetracked by Jeremy Lewis before Commissioner Buchanan threw him out. Charles Johnson found a new edge when he became all business but still found limited success in the ring.

(Tom) So whoever wins this encounter tonight is likely to find some momentum.

(JB) Exactly. This also isn’t the first encounter between these men. They’ve been locking horns for almost a year off and on now.

CJ attacks Hawke from behind when he isn’t ready knocking him to the ground. Johnson stomps him a few times on the ground. Hawke scrambles to the ropes to try to use them to climb up, but the businessman steps on his upper back choking Hawke on the bottom ropes.

The ref gets CJ off of Sebastian as Sebastian scrambles to his feet. The two stare down each other. They move close together and before the two lock up Hawke decides to do a quick kick to the gut instead of locking up.

Hawk lifts CJ to his feet and explodes with a fury of punches. Hawke whips Johnson into the ropes and goes for a back body drop but CJ reverses it into a swinging neckbreaker.

CJ covers but Sebastian kicks out after 1. CJ decides to argue with the ref, giving Hawke ample time to trip him up by the legs and take him to the mat. Johnson applies a STF on Charles. The ref gets down seeing if CJ gives up. Charles Johnson refuses to and slowly makes his way to the ropes while Sebastian Hawke tries with all his might to make him tap. Johnson grabs the bottom rope, but Hawke refuses to let go. The ref begins to count to three and Hawke lets go before he does.

Sebastian grabs the artist formerly known as Tharodund and lifts him to his feet. CJ quickly goes for a whip, but Hawke reverse it into a whip of his own into the corner. Hawke runs into the corner and body splashes the smaller CJ. Sebastian Hawk grabs CJ and hits a perfect Russian leg sweep. He goes for a cover.

1…..2… kick out.

Hawke gets up to his feet waiting for his opponent to do the same. CJ gets up but is dazed. Sebastian whips him off the ropes. As CJ bounces back, Hawke shows excellent athletic ability and leaps over him. CJ goes running toward the ropes on the other side and manages to catch them and not go bouncing off again. Hawke, however, never turns around after the leapfrog because something has distracted him.

At the top of the ramp stands Ashley Collier, staring a hole into Sebastian Hawke. Hawke, having heard the words Ashley Collier said earlier in the night about everyone including Sebastian being put on notice. Sebastian motions for him to come get some but Collier shakes his head with a devious grin on it. Out of no where, Hawke collapses as CJ has rolled him up!

The ref slides down and begins to count, and CJ grabs a fistful of tights and puts his feet on the ropes for elevation.

1… 2… 3… Kickout!

Hawke powerfully kicks out of the cheating pin, sending CJ flopping out of the ring! However, it was too late and the referee called for the bell, declaring Charles Johnson the winner!


(JB) Sebastian Hawke does not look happy!

(Tom) Ashley Collier sure does!

Hawke leans over the rope and points at Collier standing up at the top of the ramp, demanding he come down to the ring and get his ass beat. Collier on the other hand, shrugs his shoulders and waves Hawke off, which serves to only further infuriate Hawke who stomps around the yard… aka the ring.

(Tom) Hawke can’t complain, it’s not like Collier cost him that match. For all he knows, Collier was out there scouting Charles Johnson.

(JB) Somehow, after all of my years in this business, I highly doubt that Bear.


Destructive Planning


We enter inside the TDC locker room to find well, quiet. Lorenzo is sitting across from his cousin, who's sitting with a focused yet very relaxed look in his eyes as he locks in on his Lendo Stick. For Lorenzo, this is the biggest match of his career and this marks the third match he's had since entering the NAFW. For Leonard, this is his first real PPV match since the last time he appeared in the NAFW. The last time he had a PPV match? He ended Charles Johnson's run as United States Champion. Looking at the two of them, you'd swear they were going to a literal street fight rather than an actual wrestling match, but they know that with the rules this match entails...this is proper attire.

(Big Daddy) You're awfully quiet over there.

The Reaper gives his cousin a rather quizzical look.

(The Reaper) I'm sorry, should I be walking about looking all angry and what not? Spewing profanities every fifth word about what I'm gonna do to Trevor and Keith and any poor mook who gets in my way?

Big Daddy shakes his head from side to side.

(The Reaper) Fact is, I'm just ready to get this over with. My hands are ready to throw themselves into Trevor's face again and again until these dark brown hands bare his Jack Daniels filled crimson.

(Big Daddy) I hear his breath is 100 proof.

(The Reaper) You can do better than that.

(Big Daddy) I hear that when he got baptized, he drunk all of the Holy Water thinking it was alcoholic?

The Reaper twitches his eyes as if he were sampling something and after about a minute, he gives his cousin a thumbs up.

(Big Daddy) So how are we gonna do this? I mean, I've got no problem getting a Wish because I know how much you want to be Foundation Heavyweight Champion.

(The Reaper) Nah man, if it comes down to it and I can't grab it, you take it. So long as that belt leaves with either of us, it's all great. We can't let those Two F(bleep)ed Klowns get the whole ball of wax.

(Big Daddy) They won't. What about Snake? You pissed him off something fierce when you threatened his ball.

(The Reaper) Let me put it to you like this holmes. If he or his 'ball' come anywhere near me tonight, I'm gonna make him eat that thing along with a nice Jersey Knuckle Sammich with all of the trimmings.

(Big Daddy) I'm surprised you didn't mention your past PPV record during your promo.

(The Reaper) Didn't need to. Didn't want to. I'm at that point where I'm past words man. I'm sick of Trevor running like a little scared bitch from me and the ultimate truth of the matter. That truth which will be unequivocally proven as fact tonight is that he's not better than me. He never has been and he never will be. I'm gonna beat him up, I'm gonna hurt him and his little boyfriend too if he's dumb enuogh to cross my path. At the end of the night, after I leave his body broken, bloodied and contorted like a pretzel, the world will understand our thesis to a tee.

It's here that the door opens up a crack and Charlene pokes her head in, letting the boys know it's time.

(Big Daddy) Looks like it's go time.

(The Reaper) Alright Ramblers, let's get ramblin.

They give each other a double pound and head for the door as we head back to ringside.


Pinnacle



The arena crowd goes wild as we cut backstage to a shot of a locker room. Not just any locker room, but one containing the fan favorite NAFW Originals and the no-so-favorite Twitch.

(Twitch) Are Twitch's favorite tag team ready for the biggest match of their short time as a team?

He is hyped up, while Spaz finishes lacing up his boots. Lane is cranking off a few push ups on the other side of the room, already in wrestling gear. They both ignore their "manager." He just kind of gets this sad expression on his face, like a puppy dog, before sitting down. Spaz, his boots now on, stands up and starts jumping up and down, bobbing his neck from side to side. Lane finishes his push ups, and gets to his feet. He turns to face Twitch.

(Lane) Twitch, I've been in Foundation title matches. I've been in Chain Reaction. This match tonight is as big as any of those, if not bigger. Tonight is a night that will see a man with the opportunity to win not just a Wish. Not just a Wish and the Tag Team titles. But a Wish, the Tag Team titles, and the Foundation Heavyweight Championship.

Spaz stops as Lane comes up to him, and puts his hands on his shoulders.

(Lane) The biggest night of our careers. We've been around the world. We've been in hardcore matches. We've competed and have won the Foundation title. I've never been a tag team champion. You've never been a tag team champion. Neither of us have won Three Wishes. Keith Owens says that you don't have it anymore, and Leonard Aarons says that I don't have it anymore.

Spaz looks up into Lane's eyes, a glint in his own.

(Spaz) And what are we gonna do about that?

Lane nods his head.

(Lane) We're gonna shove it up their asses!

They both smile, and Lane paces around the room again while Spaz shakes it out again.

(Twitch) So which one of you gets to win the Foundation title?

Both men stop in their tracks and turn to look at Twitch. Lane regards Spaz silently.

(Spaz) We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Lane looks off to the side, and sighs.

(Lane) We're getting pretty close to it. It's time.

He grabs his jersey, and then heads towards the door to be followed by Twitch and Spaz. Twitch heads out the door first.

(Twitch) Twitch wants you to know that he thinks you two idiots are gonna show these guys. Break a leg, and Twitch means that literally! Twitch is going to the crowd to watch this match.

He leaves, and Lane has the door open as Spaz heads to walk out, but Lane places a hand on his chest, stopping the Candy Man.

(Lane) We've been through a lot, Sean, all the way to hell and back again. Tonight is our night.

Spaz looks down, and then looks up, a bit tentatively.

(Spaz) Whatever happens out there, I want to thank you... for everything.

Lane gets to look a little tentative now, but his resolve immediately strengthens, and he grins.

(Lane) Don't be thanking me just yet. You just be ready when I do what I have to do.

(Spaz) The title?

His only response is Lane pulling the jersey over his head, and heading away towards the Cougar Position.


NAFW Originals (Mike Lane & Spaz) vs. Old School Empire (Shane & Dustin Thomas) vs. Trust Fund Kids (Keith Owens & Trevor Cunning (FH)) vs. Crazy Boy & Andy D vs. Snake & Wilson vs. The Destruction Crew ("The Reaper" Leonard Aarons & Lorenzo Richards)
Three Wishes Match
Tag Team Championship
Foundation Heavyweight Championship




(JB) Alright folks, it is the moment we have all been waiting for.

(Tom) You’re finally announcing your retirement?

(JB) No.

(Tom) Twitch committed suicide?

(JB) No.

(Tom) Damnit.

(JB) Are you going to proffer even one serious response?

(Tom) Proffer? What are you, a lawyer?

(JB) Fine, then I’ll just tell you.

(Tom) Wait! It’s Three Wishes, right?

(JB) That was enthusiastic.

(Tom) THREE WISHES TWO THOUSAND AND SEVEN!

(JB) Damn skippy.

The lights in the arena go out as the NAFWtron starts to flicker as we hear the sound of nails being sharpened as it coincides with the sound of massive footsteps as we see The Reaper striking his signature pose on the NAFWtron followed by Lorenzo in Japan throwing up his right arm with his first held high as we hear from the movie Stepfather...

"Daddy's home..."

This is quickly followed by...

"FEEL! MY! WRATH!"

"You Don't Know" by 50 Cent, Eminem, Lloyd Banks & Cashis blares over the arena's sound system as flashing gold and crimson lights flood the arena. Charlene Lassiter-Richards steps out first followed closely by her husband who's side by side with his cousin, The Reaper. The crowd roars as the duo look around at the crowd and then back at each other as they touch fists three times emphatically before raising their arms high in the air as three huge pyro explosions bring the lights back up full blast. The threesome head down the aisle with Charlene leading the way, as Lorenzo and Leonard are in step the whole way as their eyes never leave their opponents in the ring. They reach the ringside area and Lorenzo gives his wife a kiss as The Reaper hops up onto the apron and makes his way towards the right, while Lorenzo hops onto the apron and turns left heading for the second turnbuckle perch outside the ring. The Reaper strikes his trademark pose as Lorenzo throws up his right arm fist tightly clenched just before the duo give the Destructive Crotch Chop three times chopping out the letters T-D-C as the fans chant it in unison as they hop over the ropes and into the ring.

(JB) The crowd is really behind The Destruction Crew.

(Tom) They still don't stand a chance.

A siren hits the speakers and the word "EMPIRE" appears on the video screen.

Shhh, Fireman comin'


The lights flash red and blue, as the camera pans around the arena. Lil' Wayne's "Fireman" starts playing. As the intro continues, the lights flash red to black to blue and back to black as a spot light is focused on the curtain. The song kicks in and Dustin Thomas blows through the entry way, his hand pointed towards the stage. New School points up, and Shane comes out of the curtain, all oiled up and ready to go.

(Tom) What’s with the oil? Are we sponsored by Wesson now?

(JB) You’ve never seen a bodybuilding competition before?

(Tom) With the men who look like bears and the women who look like men who look like bears? No thanks!

(JB) Men who look like bears?

(Tom) And don’t get me started on the children who look like sharks who look like eagles who look like women who look like men who look like bears!

(JB) The Shark and the Eagle, in theaters Friday.

Dustin taunts the fans as he walks down the aisle, while Shane takes every opportunity to get in his bodybuilder poses. When he reaches the bottom of the ramp, the Alpha flexes his biceps and points his toe, much to the hatred of the fans. Dustin slides into the ring, and leaps up to the turnbuckle to soak in the jeers. The Alpha hops up the steps, and climbs into the ring. He looks around the arena before stepping between the ropes. Dustin pats him on the back one more time before Shane makes his finale pose in the middle of the ring.

(JB) Old School Empire looks prepared.

(Tom) Looking prepared and being prepared are two different things entirely, Mann-Wheel!

(JB) And what do you know about being prepared, Bear?

(Tom) I know that I can prepare my fist up your nostril.

(JB) That’s what I… are you really trying to put your fist in my…

(Tom) Get. In. There.

(JB) Stop that!

(Tom) Well you don’t have to bite. Gord.

Throw up your rawkfist,
If you're feelin' it when I drop this


Snake comes out from the back with Wilson under his arm. He jumps around on the stage some before heading down the ramp and high fiving various fans.

Show 'em how we blow the spot,
Let's make it hot,
Let's shock 'em with the bodyrock,
'Till the party stops
It's time to take it up a notch,
And keep it locked,
For all the headbangers in the parking lot
Here we come, if you're ready or not,
No time to talk, 'cause we on the clock,
Bringin? that Uhh, uhh, to your block
Let me show ya where we're comin' from,
It don't stop, from L.A. to New York,
Show me what you got now!


Snake sets Wilson down on the ramp then raises his arms up in the air as more green pyro goes off behind him. He then picks up Wilson and makes his way down to the ring.

All I know, is what it did take to make this,
All I am, is what it will take to break this
All I know, is what it did take to make this,
All I am, is what it will take to break this
Light it up now, light it up now


Snake high fives some more fans before rolling into the ring and posing on the turnbuckle for some fans. He gets off the turnbuckle and sets Wilson in one of the corners as he awaits the start of the match.

(Tom) I can't believe we are actually going to have a freaking volleyball in this match.

(JB) It is another NAFW first!

(Tom) Actually, it’s not. The freakin volleyball already pinned Crazy Boy.

(JB) It’s the first volleyball in a Three Wishes match.

(Tom) Are you sure? I’m pretty sure one of the Dehmer Twins was a volleyball.

(JB) So you’re saying the Dehmer Twins were twin volleyballs?

(Tom) No. One was a volleyball. The other was his twin.

(JB) Well that explains it.

(Tom) See, it’s not really complicated if you listen.

Are you ready...
For a Sugar Rush?


(Tom) Cover your ears!

BOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Tom) Jesus!

Audioslave's "Cochise" hits the speakers as the wall of pyro rains down from the entrance way. Mike Lane and Spaz appear through the curtain, and the crowd goes bananas. The throwback NAFW jersey's (currently being sold at a NAFW Merchandise retailer near you) are both being sported by these two men, and they are hyped up.

(JB) The NAFW Originals are looking to show everyone that they still have it.

(Tom) I think that one of them is a little more eager than the other. Just look at Lane’s trousers.

(JB) Maybe so, but they both want this as bad as anyone in the match.

Lane and Spaz climb into the ring, and go to opposite corners, getting to their feet, and indulging in the crowd's love.

"Fully Alive" by Flyleaf hits the PA as the lights dim and then flicker out. Strobe lights flicker on as smoke fills the entryway and the ramp. All the sudden, a figure comes out from the back and stands in the smoke, right fist pumped up in the air. The strobe lights make the figure seem like it is blinking as the figure cuts through the smoke. The crowd cheers as it is NAFW's very own psycho, Crazy Boy. The Arena lights go down as the 'Ace' Signature logo appears on screen. A large '1' is spray panted over the top before Keep Yourself Alive II kicks in over the PA. Andy comes out and joins his partner Crazy Boy on the ramp. The pound fists and then run down the ramp, sliding underneath the bottom rope and into the ring.

(Tom) Is Andy D going to have Crazy Boy’s back tonight?

(JB) I think he’ll have Tyrone’s back, but he’ll mostly be kicking in Snake’s front!

Its All About The Benjamins, Baby!


(JB) THE CHAMP IS HERE!

(Tom) Really JB? Really?

The Trust Fund Kids music, that awesome rock remix of Diddy’s song, plays over the PA and out walks Keith Owens and the Foundation Heavyweight Champion, Trevor Cunning, sans the title belt as it was already turned over to NAFW officials to be hung above the ring with the tag titles. He does, however, have his bottle of Jack in hand. Gold sparks shower from the rafters as the two friends take time to soak in their glory. After soaking in the boos from the crowd, they take their time to walk down the ramp where the other nine men and a volleyball anxiously await their arrival so the ring can explode (not literally, unless we’ve got that five sided backup).

(JB) Every single competitor in this ring is staring a hole through the Trust Fund Kids!

(Tom) They should take a picture – it’ll last longer than any of these teams will in this match.

At the bottom of the ramp, Trevor throws off his two polo shirts and takes a swig of Jack before spitting it at everyone in the ring. The Trust Fund Kids then have the referees clear everyone aside so they can safely enter the ring, which they do.

(JB) Keith Owens is looking to become a Grand Slam Champion by winning the Tag Team Championship and Trevor Cunning is praying he holds onto the Foundation Heavyweight Championship!

(Tom) No matter what, this is going to be a slobberknocker!

Alright Bear, settle your fucking horses, I'm muting you just because of that.

COMMENTARY FILTER: ON

DING. DING. DING.

The bell echoes through the arena and everyone takes off at a different opponent. The Destruction Crew makes a beeline for the Trust Fund Kids, while at the same time Snake throws Wilson and smacks old Crazy Boy right in the face with it. Tyrone grabs his face because if you have ever been hit with a volleyball in the face, it fucking hurts. Luckily, Andy D picks Wilson up and throws him back at Snake, but Snake must of heard Wilson scream because he ducks and Wilson hits Mike Lane right in the face. This gives Dustin and Shane Thomas the opening they need to launch a two on one attack on their brother from another mother, Sean Thomas (blood tests pending.) Old School Empire begins to clubs Spaz like he was Rodney King. The Phoenix recovers however and pulls off his former pupil Shane and begins to throw some hard rights.

Meanwhile, The Reaper is all over Trevor Cunning like Chris Hansen on a pedophile. Right jab, left jab, right jab, right hook, left uppercut, and Trevor is laying flat on his back. Keith tosses Lorenzo out of the ring and he pulls the attacking Reaper off of his butt buddy... I mean tag team partner. Owens and Aarons exchange counter punches for a while until Keith tries to kick him in the gut, Leonard catches it and Keith hits the dreaded Enzuguri kick.

On the other side of the ring, Snake is unsuccessfully trying to fight off Andy D and Crazy Boy. AD and CB hit a double dropkick and Snake goes rolling over the top rope to the floor. Andy gets on all fours and The Crazy One bounces off the ropes and comes back, using Andy for a step and hits a suicida crossbody block on a now standing Snake. Andy slides underneath the ropes and goes to laying the boots to Snake. Reaper tosses Trevor off the ropes and he lands near the Snake clusterfuck. KO then comes from behind Aarons and tosses him over. The next thing you know, Lorenzo, Shane Thomas, and Mike Lane are all outside of the ring in what has become a huge clusterfuck with three men standing in the ring. Keith looks at Spaz and Dustin and all three then look at the rest of their opponents all standing on the outside brawling. All three take off at a full sprint and come off the ropes. Keith jumps onto the top rope and flips off it with a senton splash, Spaz suicide dives through the ropes, and Dustin just dives over the top. All three crash into the jumbled mass of bodies and nobody is left standing.

NAFW! NAFW! NAFW! NAFW! NAFW!

The Reaper is the first man to his feet and he goes underneath the ring searching for a weapon, what he finds is a kendo stick. Oh no, Trevor Cunning is now up and he walks right into a shot in between the eyes. Owen's gets up next and he suffers the same fate as his buddy. Mike Lane and Spaz catch similar shots and The Reaper is really warming up. Aarons smacks Crazy Boy in the back and takes a wild swing at Andy D. Hell, Leonard is so out of control, he almost hits his own tag team partner with the kendo stick. The Reaper tries to apologize but that gives Snake the opening he needs to dropkick The Reaper who knocks into Lorenzo who falls into the steel steps.

Old School Empire has sneaked away from the kendo stick havoc and has grabbed a ladder. Nobody is really paying attention to these two because they have set the beast up and are now going for the first wish. Luckily, Keith Owens just happens to look up and see Shane Thomas half-way up the ladder. Keith grabs the nearest steel chair and charges Dustin Thomas, laying him out with a brutal chair shot. Keith then swings and hits Shane in the lower part of his back. It doesn't knock "The Alpha" off the ladder, but it stuns him enough for Keith to climb up the opposite side. The two begin to exchange fisticuffs.

Mike Lane is now setting up a table bridged between the apron and barricade. Lane picks Crazy Boy up off the floor and throws a few punches into his head then points to Spaz and tells him to go to the top. Sean Thomas does so and he takes a leap of faith and lands a big splash on Crazy Boy and throw the table, not to mention the three foot drop he takes to the floor. This particular spot gets a huge reaction out of the crowd. Not so much worthy of a "Holy Shit" or "NAFW" chant but it gets a nice pop.

Keith and The Alpha have now been exchanging punches for a few moments and Thomas has gotten the advantage. He throws a dirty elbow that stuns Keith long enough for Shane to hook him for a suplex, off the ladder. Keith crashes into the mat like Flight 93 into the ground and for the moment seems to be out of the match.

Shane gets up celebrating thinking he is the shit and all and turns around just in time to get introduced to a trash can courtesy of Crazy Boy. Tyrone smashes the steel into Shane's head a few more times just for good measure and then puts the can over his head. Leave it to Andy D to bring a steel chair into this equation and it rattles ole Shane's eardrums.

Snake has recovered Wilson and he throws him at Mike Lane, again. Mike is ready this time however and he proceeds to Shadow Kick Wilson out into the crowd. That is one hell of a souvenir. Snake screams and gets all pissy pants and charges Mike, but Lane responds by Shadow Kicking Serpentor's bastard offspring. Trevor Cunning however is back into the fold and he sneaks up behind Lane, spins him around and hits him with the Sobriety Test.Trevor then starts to try and reawake Keith, which he does and the two grab some steel chairs. We might aswell call this next sequence The Trust Fund Kids Fifth Symphony because they start unleashing a con-chair-to massacre on their opponents. Spaz, The Reaper, Lorenzo, Andy D, Crazy Boy, Dustin Thomas, Shane Thomas, Snake, and Mike Lane all recieve the dreaded double chair shot. This sequence has done enough damage for Trevor Cunning to start climbing the already set up ladder. Meanwhile, Keith awaits all comers, steel chair in hand. A few moments later, The Trust Fund Kids have acquired the first wish.

Take it away Mike... I'm Nate out.


Mike here, let's see if I can not be as profane as Nate.

Cunning drops to the ground, and Owens merely nods to the title belts high above the ring. The Trust Fund Kids immediately go to work in setting up another ladder as we pan about, showing everyone else recovering. The TFK gets the ladder set up in the center of the ring, and they both begin to climb it together, trying to end this match early. However, one man on the floor is up... Crazy Boy! The Crazy One slides into the ring, and grabs the legs of the TFK. They start to rain down kicks to Tyrone, but the former XTC, US, and IC Champion holds on for dear life. While this is going on, everyone else is slowly but surely getting to their feet. Snake climbs on top of Mike Lane, and begins to fire away in revenge for the punting of Wilson. Everyone looks around, before Andy D heads towards the ring. The Destruction Crew begin to step towards that area too, while Spaz is still recovering.

Seeing all of this going on is more than enough for Dustin Thomas to grab Shane and make a run for a Wish. In the ring, Andy D has ascended to the top rope, and he leaps off in a crossbody, colliding with the Trust Fund Kids. They seem suspended in air for a moment before the ladder tips over, and all three men spill outside the ring,

NAFW! NAFW! NAFW! NAFW! NAFW!

Owens and Cunning both look like they're dead as they lay there motionless on the floor. Andy seems to be stirring though, although he's not getting up anytime soon.

In other news, the Old School Empire are setting up a ladder under the remaining Wishes. Spaz comes out of nowhere to nail Dustin and engage Shane in a fight. Dustin is right back in there, and the Candy Man is getting double teamed by the Empire. Shane gets behind Spaz, and holds him while Dustin rattles off a bunch of quick punches, trying to take Spaz out of the game to allow them an easy Wish.

In the ring, Crazy Boy is alone with the Destruction Crew, and they catch him with a back suplex/neckbreaker combo. They call it the TNT Blast, and Crazy Boy is down. Richards motions to Charlene, and she slides two ripe and ready folding chairs into the ring. They set them up as we Mike Lane toss Snake off him with a T-Bone Suplex he likes to call the Degeneration. With the two chairs set up, the Destruction Crew pick up Crazy Boy and nail him with the TNT Blast for a second time, this time through the chairs. He's down and out, and TDC head outside the ring to the Wishes.

Spaz is getting his ass kicked by the doubleteaming Old School Empire... until Mike Lane makes his presence felt once more. He pulls Shane off of Spaz, and begins exchanging punches with The Alpha. The Destruction Crew join the scene, but don't get involved with the action. They grab another ladder, and set it up right next to the one OSE had set up. They start to climb while their opponents are oblivious. Snake rejoins the scene as he pulls Lorenzo off the ladder, and drops him with the Venom Sting. He climbs the ladder on the other side of Reaper, and they exchange punches as they begin to head higher on the ladder, with Reaper losing his kendo stick he acquired earlier in the process.

That stick finds it's way to the hands of Dustin Thomas, who cracks Spaz over the head with it once, before dropping it and heading up his ladder. Spaz recovers quickly, and heads up the ladder himself. Now we have four men: Spaz, Dustin Thomas, Reaper, and Snake; all on top of two ladders, fighting among themselves while reaching for a Wish. Andy D is still laying among the ruins of the Trust Fund Kids, while Crazy Boy is down and out in the center of the ring laying akwardly among two chairs. Wilson is being tossed around in the crowd. The only other action is Mike Lane and Shane Thomas brawling among the crowd.

The student and teacher go back and forth, nailing each other with stiff right hands. Shane sees a table on the outskirts of the stage area, and he nails Lane with a kick to the balls before dragging the table over to the ladders. He tries to pull Spaz off the ladder, but Spaz kicks him back. At that moment Shane gets caught with a Shadow Kick, taking him down. Lane throws Shane up on the table, and looks up to his partner, who is busy fighting three other men. Speaking of which, Lorenzo Richards is back up, and he pulls Snake off the ladder, leaving Reaper alone to ascend to a Wish. Mike Lane sees this, and takes drastic action.

He lunges forward, and pushes the ladder that Spaz and Dustin are on over, which also takes down Reaper's ladder. Both ladders and the three men all go flying to the floor, and Richards and Snake are caught beneath the wreckage. Everyone is down and out. Snake may be effectively out of the match after both ladders landed on him.

Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit!

Lane nails Shane with an elbow to keep him on the table, and he grabs a third ladder to set up. He climbs up quickly, and he soaks in the cheers as he pulls down the second Wish. The Superstar doesn't rest though, as he looks down from the top of the ladder to his former protege, Shane Thomas. He drops the Wish to the floor, and flashbulbs go off as he leaps off in a huge Leg Drop on Shane Thomas. The Alpha goes through the table with Lane on top of him, and now everyone is down and out...

Here ya go Jer-Bear, Mike out.


…Aaaand JayVee to the rescue. But first…! A recap!

The Trust Fund Kids have grabbed the first Wish. The NAFW Originals have finagled the second, leaving a third tantalizing Wish suspended what seems to be a million and one miles in the air. Every man is down. Even the damn sports ball is down. Ringside is covered in blood-soaked wreckage and breathing is heavy, heavy, heavy. Even for seasoned athletes, these men are gasping for air and the match has just reached the halfway marker. The ring has been emptied except for a ladder. Everyone on the inside has rolled outside to the mats, nursing their individual wounds, and for a moment the world stands still. Tom Kalhoun is freaking out. JB Mann can't believe his eyes. Mike Lane's mom pauses between tricks. The world… Is watching!

Somehow, Crazy Boy is the first grappler to his feet, using the ring apron for support and wiping a trickle of blood away from his mouth. He takes a long look up at the sky, up at the final Wish, using his hand to block the glare of the lights. That squint says it’s pretty high up there and…Whack!

That's Dustin Thomas wrapping a chair around Crazy Boy's head. He didn't want anyone to forget that he'd made it to his feet, as well. Looking around the ring, most everybody is stirring, starting to regain their wits, and with a subtle limp one-half of the OSE knows that its time to get back to work. There's a lot of gold to be won tonight, and he'll be damned if he lets this opportunity slip through his fingers.

Dustin finds it a little more difficult to rouse his partner than he expected. Shane is in a daze; he's seeing birdies and airplanes and goatse.cx flying around everybody's head after taking that last horrifically horrible High Flying Leg Drop of Death and Dying. Andy D's trying to help his partner up as well, and Crazy Boy's delirium is just as prominent as Shane Thomas'. There's a whole lotta goatse.cx floating around, if ya know what I mean.

Keith Owens and Trevor Cunning are both a little slow to get up, but it’s a luxury they've earned, given their status as one of the two already-determined Wish holders. Mike Lane and Spaz certainly aren't going anywhere—Lane with that broken ass after the High Flying Leg Drop of Death and Dying and Spaz having taken the brunt of a ladder tip (also of Death and Dying).

Wilson seems to be shaken up. (I mean that.) Snake, meanwhile, is probably dead.

Leonard Aarons and Lorenzo Richards have found themselves beneath the third Wish, setting up a ladder while their competition congregates mainly on adjacent sides of the ring… And damn, it's good to be a gangsta. With what appears to be a free and clear opportunity at the Promised Land, Lorenzo begins the long and arduous climb to the top. You'd think these guys would skitter up the ladder a bit quicker than they do, and perhaps they do sometimes take their time for dramatic effect, but once a wrester starts going up, and they're blood is pumping faster than God intended and they've taken a lot of damage, they'll start suffering from what the Boys call Mile High Syndrome. Sometimes your ears will pop and your vision will go fuzzy, and it's hard not to pass out. Standing up is difficult enough, and the kind of physical exertion required for ladder gymnastics is off the charts.

Little Andy D is like a paramedic. He's a first responder. Seeing how close the Destruction Crew is to taking home a Wish, he does what any right-thinking athlete would do and abandons his partner to fend for himself and takes a running charge at the Reaper and Company. At 6'4", 287 pounds versus 5'10", 197… It's no wonder that Andy D bounces off Leonard Aarons like a peanut hitting Sherman tank. Aarons maneuvers around to size up this mosquito-sized nuisance and Andy D stops dead in his tracks. If he had a Twix, he'd take a second and think it over. One big, angry monster stands between Andy D and stopping Lorenzo Richards from grabbing the third Wish, almost for free, and he's gotta think quick or the fat lady will sing on his and Crazy Boy's dream of being Tag Team Champions. So what does he do…?

He grabs a beer from an obese fan in the first row—is that Randy?—and downs what remains of the twelve ounce plastic cup like there's no tomorrow… And there very well may not be, if the Reaper gets his hands on the pint-sized cruiserweight, with no tag team partner around to bail him out. Aarons, however, is somewhat confused by Andy D's random antics, and stands stock-still waiting for… Whatever comes next. Richards, having been distracted by the noise, has also stopped climbing and is eyeing Andy D with suspicion.

Andy turns to the crowd and pleads, "Dammit! Somebody help me!"

A few seconds pass.

Nothing happens.

Andy looks back at Aarons and two things happen: Lorenzo starts climbing again and the Reaper is starting to get super, ultra, you-slept-with-my-girlfriend pissed. You can tell. That little vein on his neck isn't so little anymore, and it looks like the former NWC contender is about to pound some ass—and not in the fun, sexual way you might imagine. It's clobberin' time!

Andy looks back at the crowd, puppy dog eyes making one final plea for help before the Reaper levels him with a hard, thunderous Clothesline. Our cruiserweight buddy spins a hundred and eighty degrees in the air before finally slamming down on the floor, beaten and quite possibly comatose. Aarons stands over the smaller wrestler and gloats, before someone in the crowd hits him in the face with a shoe.

The voice of a mentally challenged youth rings out from the crowd, "I help you, Andy D! You my hero!"

Little late, Dave. But at least you tried.

Aarons is shocked, and then outraged. And then confused. He leans over the railing into the crowd and starts trash talking the handicapped boy… Face or not, you can't tell me one kid having Trisomy Twenty-One is going to stop you from calling a spade a spade if he hits you in the face with a shoe. (A Spider-Man 3 shoe, to boot. Get it? To boot?) Dave sure got himself in over his head on this one, folks!

Richards is almost to the contract, to the Wish, when all of the sudden he feels something smack him between the shoulder blades—and then the small of his back; his hindquarters; his arms. It's raining shoes! Members of the crowd are pelting Lorenzo Richards with sizes four through fourteen in an ECW-like Festival of Chairs (but Shoes, you see). Andy D called for help, and the first five rows of NAFW diehards are heeding the call!

Richards bats away another volley when the tide starts to turn against the Destruction Crew. Shane and Dustin Thomas have taken this opportunity to ambush Leonard Aarons. They're clubbing him in the back of the neck, the back of the head, and finally dump him over the side of the security wall into the crowd who, just moments ago, were bombarding him and his partner with smelly sneakers. Lorenzo himself faces a threat of a different color (figuratively, not literally) in the rejuvenated Keith Owens and Trevor Cunning.

The Trust Fund Kids, back inside the ring with a ladder, after having momentarily discussed (and I use that term loosely) amongst themselves the merit of gaining one set of championships over the other, and have now turned their attention to Sitting Duck. Or Lorenzo Richards, if Lorenzo Richards had a traditional Indian name. Up there, all alone on the ladder, Richards didn't have a lot of places to go when the Tee Eff Kay rams a ladder into his chest, sending the Platinum Juggernaut end-over-end onto the floor.

The ladder itself remains fairly stable, the lone survivor of this particular war of import.

The Thomas Brothers and the Trust Fund Kids lock eyes as Mike Lane and Spaz slide into the ring behind Owens and Cunning. The Tee Eff Kay turn around just in time to see the NAFW Originals Cactus Clothesline them both up and over the top rope, and back to the floor below. JB Mann says something about nobody leaving anything on the field, to which Tom Kalhoun makes a snide remark about their not being a field in professional wrestling. "We use a ring, dummy!" he says, leaving us all to wonder when they're finally gonna @#$% and get it over with.

The Old School Empire, at the moment, are being accosted by a now-recovered, chair-wielding Crazy Boy, whose been busted open at least a couple of times during the course of this barnburner, taking turns taking hits until Cee Bee loses the strength to keep swinging. By that point, it's a pretty moot point anyway, since both Thomases are slumped over and reeling. The sheer brutality of Crazy Boy's attack sends our announce team into a tizzy, an even more profound tizzy than normal, and the crowd "Oooh" and "Aaah" with every shot.

Owens and Spaz are exchanging blows now, both standing toe-to-toe with one another and rocking back and forth with each cannonball shot. Lane and Cunning are equally matched, as well, jockeying for position against one another until Cunning Irish Whips Lane top-over-bottom into the steel ring-steps. Cunning attempts to turn around and aid his partner, but Spaz dodges out of the way and Trevor winds up smashing Keith Owens in the face, and knocking his partner back into the barricade. Cunning versus Owens conspiracy theories fly like crazy in the crowd, each spectator wondering if the pressure of the Foundation Heavyweight Championship has finally spit the team, but it's a short investigation as Spaz takes the legs out from under Cunning with a boot to the back of a calf… And a Sugar Rush! Finally bringing the big man down to size, Spaz' patented Flatliner plants Cunning face-first into the barely padded concrete floor.

Snake, to refresh your memory, is still dead. Ish. I'm not really sure if he's dead for real or really just petered out, but he's been laying there for awhile. And there hasn't been a team of EMTs out yet, so maybe they're just hoping he's alive or something. But it's kinda of creepy, just to have a dead body laying around; doesn't do much for the physical landscape of the place, and all that.

Wilson…?

Also dead. But you already knew that.

Leonard Aarons, recovering from the OSE beatdown, peeks his head up above the security railing and sees almost everybody down and out. The only one who appears even vaguely conscious is Sean Thomas, and he's slid back in the ring and attempting to set a ladder up to go for the Tag Team Championships… But making no headway, because the inside ladder was apparently damaged with the Tee Eff Kay knocked Lorenzo Richards off the outside ladder. Busy trying to find a replacement, Spaz doesn't notice Aarons hop back over the guardrail and start climbing up towards the prize, towards that third Wish.

Check that.

Andy D is up again, as well, and he grabs a hold of Aarons' leg, clinging for dear life. Ironically, in terms of literary devices, Andy D has a death grip on the Reaper and he isn't about to let go, not with a Wish in the balance. Aarons attempts to kick the smaller wrestler off, to shake him because he's more than halfway up the ladder, but the little guy will absolutely, positively, fundamentally not let go… So Aarons, basically on one leg, drags Andy D along for the ride. Up one step. Up another…

Until Lorenzo Richards makes his presence known. Finally recovered from the big ladder fall, or as recovered as any of these men will ever be again, Richards throws a rocket-fist into Andy D's midsection, forcing the smaller wrestler to relinquish his grip—making him ripe for the Big Finish pickings. Hefting Andy D up into a Fireman's Carry, 'Zo drops Andy D with an Ace Crusher just as Leonard Aarons is reaching up for the third and final Wish… And hoisting it down, victorious. The Destruction Crew has fought their way through stiff competition to win the third and final Wish...!

And so, this is your pilot JayVee, handing the wheel over to veteran ring-writer Jimmy Doolittle. Jim, how's the weather in Assclown Village?

At least Assclown Village is part of Hetero-Town. Tell me, Jer-Bear… how much is the postage from Homo-City?

That’s what I thought.


Referees rush the ring to remove the reticent wreckage. The Old School Empire decides not to struggle and, much like a nineteen year old girl on a Friday morning, begin the walk of shame home. Crazy Boy collects Andy D’s prone form, takes one long look at the Tag Team Titles that have eluded him throughout his career, and drops his drowsy partner to the arena floor. CB looks at Andy D in disgust before he hops the guardrail and leaves through the crowd.

Wilson finally returns to ringside, landing right next to Snake’s prone form.

Emergency medical technicians hustle to ringside with a stretcher in two. Once there, they collect Wilson, place a neck brace where no neck exists, and wheel him to the back in somber silence. They leave Snake in the pile of twisted metal and tables – apparently unconcerned for the man’s well being.

Returning, at long last, to the talented three teams lucky enough to take a tattered ticket from atop teetering towers – we find The Destruction Crew celebrating the final wish, Spaz attempting to collect Mike Lane by the steel steps, and Keith Owens yelling at Cunning not only for smacking upside the skull moments earlier, but to get in the damn ring and grab the Tag Team Titles.

Len and Zo are the first to move, sliding under the bottom rope. Len begins to set up a ladder as Zo plays the watchman. Lane enters, eating a big boot from the Platinum Prognosticator. “He had to have lost teeth,” JB Mann says in his usual hyperbolic fashion. “Not that it matters, Mann-Hole.” Bear replies; “they’re wooden anyway, just like George Washington. After all, they’re the same age.”

Owens and Spaz slide under simultaneously from different angles, the former going low while the latter takes Richards down with a spinning Sweets Kick. Back to his feet, Spaz pulls Aarons back to the mat while Owens begins climbing the ladder. As the Reaper reaches to pull Owens off, Spaz begins climbing, only for Owens to pull him down. All three men look at each other, then Spaz and Aarons turn and blast Owens upside the head with rights. They pull him up, irish whip him to the ropes and hit a double back body drop. Owens lands on the ladder, catching his legs between the rungs and smacking his head against the steel. Owens hangs in the air. After their success, Spaz and Reaper stand there for a moment, open for the Foundation Heavyweight Champion to take both men to the mat with a top rope cross body block.

“I didn’t know he had it in him,” says JB.

“Well, Mann-Wagon,” chortles Bear, “look at it this way: the carbonation in the beer’s gotta go somewhere.”

Cunning leaps to his feet to celebrate, only for Lane to pick him up and deposit him on the top rope. A stiff forearm to the back stuns Cunning long enough for Lane to climb to the top rope, and by now, the Platinum Prognosticator has risen to his feet. He follows Lane up the ropes, placing the former FHC on Richards’s shoulders. The stacked super duper plex leaves Cunning on the opposite side of the ring.

Richards and Spaz have recovered from the cross body and have decided to take Owens out before continuing on their merry way. Reaper grabs Owens, still hanging from the ladder, in a neckbreaker position, and directs Spaz to climb the ropes. The moment he does, the Reaper runs forward, dropkicking Spaz onto an errant table on the outside.

Big boos for that one.

Returning to Keith Owens, the Reaper begins taunting him, slapping him. Owens goes to the eyes, fighting back, but this only angers the Reaper. He pulls Owens up and uses the ladder for leverage to hit a standing neckbreaker.

He then heads to the outside to find the Lendo Stick.

Zo and Lane have begun brawling in the ring. Zo, much larger, takes the advantage. He calls for Aarons and his signature weapon, irish-whipping the Phoenix towards his partner standing on the apron for a Lendo Stick shot. Lane reverses the irish-whip however, but Reaper has too much momentum to reverse his swing. The barbed wire staff sticks into the Platinum Prognosticator’s skull, leaving both Len and Zo in shock.

Did he just do that?

Lane capitalizes with a Sha-DOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW KICCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!ONE!!! to Richards’ kidneys. The momentum sends him into Aarons, who flies back and lands on the announce table. The table doesn’t break.

Lane resets the ladder and begins climbing.

Inside the ring, Cunning begins to stir. He reaches around, looking for a weapon, something he can use to stop the Phoenix from rising… and finds another ladder. He sets up the ladder next to Mike’s and, after pausing to give Lane a wicked low blow (“I guess you could say that Lane’s Phoenix won’t be rising from the ashes any time soon” says Kalhoun) Cunning also begins climbing.

He slams Mike’s head against the steel.

Owens is up.

He slams Mike’s head against the top of the ladder a second time.

Owens grabs a table from underneath the ring, sliding it inside.

Lane begins fighting back – slamming Cunning’s skull into the steel.
Owens sets the table up.

Lane climbs to the top of his ladder and begins throwing left hand punches into Cunning’s head.

Spaz is up, and fishing under the ring.

Cunning again low blow’s Lane.

Zo is up and has tackled Owens to the corner with a vicious shoulder block. He follows with a blind charge that Owens sidesteps. Cunning lifts Lane onto his shoulders.

Spaz pulls a ladder from underneath the ring, sets it up in front of the announce table, and begins climbing.

You know what’s coming next, right? A Sobriety Test off of the Ladder.

While the fans chant “Holy Shit,” Keith Owens tries to knock Lorenzo Richards out of the ring so he can grab the gold. Owens hits a step up enziguri which brings the big man to one knee.

On the outside, Spaz leaps off of the ladder with an SSP, putting the Reaper through the announce table. The “Holy Shit” chants intensify.

Owens next rushes forward with a shining wizard, which puts the big man on his back. Owens begins climbing. Before he can get halfway up, Zo reaches his feet. He sprints forward, arms extended, looking to push